who’s the ‘ing daddy?

the milkman with a wooden leg

still hobbled through his rounds

the milkman with a wooden leg

dint let said leg get him down

the milkman with a wooden leg

still did what milkmen do

so after 9 months or so

of starting his job

most local newborn babies

had a wooden leg too


thoughts on thoughts

thoughts come

most go

some throb

some glow

some prod

some bite

some come in pieces

some fight

some fright 

some charm

some bear gifts

with intent to harm

some abstract-mime

some dance

but often it's ants

in their pants

some sing

some wail

some want my mind

it's not for sale

some suck

with a straw

some dazejà vu

they've been in before

some spark

some extinguish

some talk all foreign

some dabble in english

some sneak in through the tunnels

some knock & say 'hello'

thoughts come

most go


death by nice

it's all quintessentially 

picturesque & quaint

warm brush strokes

the lord doth paint

thatched cottages for villages

lush meadows all around

a light breeze & birdsong

are oft the only sound

every reverend cycles

on the green - wicket keeping

cake sales & ginger ale

a chocolate labrador sleeping

inevitably green hills

generically idyllic

begging for mass murder

or failing that

a picnic


little sprinkles of evil

little sprinkles

 of evil

should be practiced


like throwing stones

into unsuspecting rivers

swapping 'round traffic cones

chuckling all the way

or getting off the bus

a stop later than you paid for

having pushingitly

rang the bell

or informing a drayman

that your real name's graham

& then gradually you'll inch


closer to hell