dormice snoring


dormice snoring with

the bears that sleep in the woods

in between their shites

musings on cuckoos & caca


there’s a bird in a clock

in the bonce

of the masses

as the bright skies lark

& a dark light gasses

like a fart – from the arse

of a granny on the bitter

so the pooh follows through

& the winter is a shitter

says the ghoul in the box

as a fox

trots faster

s & m – yet again

wear a mask – yes master

see the prick’s pantomime

with a climb of a stumble

in a backwards forth

or the apple cart will crumble

so a magpie’s eyes

spy the weasels

in the armour

as the sun drowns down

& the jabberwocky’s scarper

but the stoats still float

over clover of the after

singing spinning hymns

of the cuckoos

& their caca

musings on crab apples & crabs


no, they’re not like fleas
or their itchy namesake

so we catch them from trees
not hot tubs in nunneries

or a sauna packed with tramps
or from sniffing sailor’s pants

they don’t grow in the sea
or fall horizontally

apparently they’re apples
but they’re jellified – not pied

or crumbled like a bramley
with blackberries & custard

the mustard cuts with this
the rest is paper thin

with a sparkle in their heart
& a star beneath their skin

nan’s on the road

nan’s on the road

in a hi-vis vest

      red like the bus

      at the queue’s tail end

vans honk horns

cars carp back

      morning, afternoon

      green is money’s honey

see the schemes of ghouls

pissing pantomimes

      what a bunch of cults

      witter earthen i

london is a floodplain

prone to tidal surges

      half of it was marshland

      before the pound signs flew

like a skein of goslings

frozen is the future

      autumn is upon us

      it’s cold out now

nan, come home

countdown’s on the telly

      ovaltine’s calling

      & gypsy creams

the stirring brrr

the game’s afoot – the foot’s a plot
the ‘rona crossed with mutant flus
a seven hundredth booster shot

the wank is back, the tosser’s spin
the shining shite upon the snooze
is beaming like a goblin’s grin

the even’ creeps, the morning rains
& all is balls ‘n’ cockatoos
escape the the chains of normalzzz brains

upon a wander in a wood
a traipse in tartan painted trews
a bobble hat beneath a hood

a skein is seen – a passing vee
is honking as the green adieus
the swearing air is victory

& bugger off ’til catkins purr
a farting partridge parps the blues
until’s a chill, the stirring brrr

is rising as a sliding scale
the letters bee in avenues
the end’s a bend & time’s a snail

a scatter graph, a spool of smoke
the numbers scrunch in twisted shrews
a stool of toads ’til crocus croak

don’t feed the snarks

let’s begin a brain

      broken english biscuits

open up the inn

      kiss the gibbon’s chin

love is in the hare

      where the rabbits run

rings around the sound

      of your wonky knees

cables overhead

      death is speckled breath

kippers in the mist

      over in the outhouse

down among the clouds

      mooning lunar cheeks

eating chalky cheese

      chasing tales of snails

check the meter’s off

      squawking on all fours

don’t feed the snarks

      donuts after dark

if the whistle’s wet

      when the muse is muesli

seek a greener sea

      pissing up a tree