magnetic rats


magnetic rats ( star citengam )

see the us in we
shards of glass, a dark crevasse
splitting like a pea

as the demon skag
pricks apart the spark of heart
maiden, mother, hag

fading as a ghost
once a signet, since a swan
you’re tomorrow’s toast

i’m a blooming fool
not a willing sacrifice
daft but not a tool

all is scattered dust
butter fingers, sinking sand
sputterings of rust

drifting planks of wood
sob a song & cue the rain
bad is the new good

blue is green & gold
in your twisted mirror land
soon it’s black & cold

a u g u s t


a u g u s t ( t s u g u a )

pples tumble down

   another summer stumbles

   ants soar above us

nder shrouds of cloud

    ushering a hawthorn hue

    unicorns weeping

reen is greengages

   gourdish hordes of cucumbers

   grass is golden bales

mber is the sun

   until september nestles

   upon these thistles

he will sneeze again

   swooping on the prickled fools

   soothsayers say so

oads rain by teatime

   tomorrow pokes a wasp hive

   tossers scribble on

oh, what the folk?


oh, what the folk? ( ?klof eht tahw ,ho )

strumming the death of a legend
humming the rub of a bee
swigging a flagon of bitter
dumming the diddle in dee

roving the inns & the taverns
sleeping in stables & barns
hay in a feeder f’ breakfast
gold as the y’old in y’ yarns

rhyming the life of a wrong’un
lovers in peril & doom
farmers in lieu of a harvest
misery, merriment, gloom

jiggle the gist of a riddle
stroking the goat of a chin
stringing a cat with a fiddle
never ‘pon the violin

dressed as the ghost of a ploughman
bother the north & the south
prancing the pastures of midlands
straw in the side of y’ mouth

mincing along as a minstrel
under a trad-anon sun
scratching the balls of a ballad
oh, what the folk have y’ done?

stat shat


stat shat ( tahs tats )

twelve percent of hedgehogs

sleep beneath a garden shed

if six of seven seventeenths

splatter on a scatter graph

three percent of poets

wash behind both ears

one in two bootstraps

is secretly a shoelace

here be the p-value

chasing ratios

forty two in eighty eight

fat ladies sing

with the swans on the pond


yet – sixty three medians

for every pickled egghead

pairing with a variable

divided by five

plus the sum of odds ‘n’ sods

as a fraction in disguise

as per neil ferguson

the man who’s never right

times nine variant

null hypotheses

minus two cockatoos

– who ate all the pie charts?

so nought percent of statisticians

can wipe their own arse

shrew, shrews & yet more shrews


shrews, shrews & yet more shrews ( swerhs erom tey & swerhs ,swerhs )

unloosen the shrews

shrews your weapon wisely

all shrew need is love

& walk a mile a mile in my shrews

shrew around this town

how do you shrew?

twisting like a shrew cap

make the headline shrews

’til it’s yesterday’s shrews

be the bearer of bad shrews

try not to shrew up

shining my new pair of shrews

tightening the shrews

between me & shrew

the devil & the deep shrew sea

we’ll be seeing shrew

a spiky sight


a spiky sight ( thgis ykips a

see the giant cotton buds

spotted like measles

on the grasses, greening so

in amongst weasels

adders circle underfoot

feast upon beetles

lo, upon the yonder’s rise

climbing like steeples

bristled as a paddle brush

prickled like needles

of a morning’s wander on

oh, it’s those teasels

( puntitled )


( puntitled ) ( deltitnup )

spin between daydreams
hazy is my middle name
      up before the cockerel spurts
      comatosed purple prose

rove along hedge’s rows
clover cloaks this interlude
      pencil in a definite
      lest the owls forget

few is farther than between
far is pickled in a jar
      is the moon a mutant sun?
      heck the how are you?

mistress of the mizzle’s mirth
murmurs stir this steaming mug
      see the evening primrose doze
      when the dawn’s a fawn

all is or – or mugwort
moxibustion offerings
      once upon a wonky song
      falling off your rocking horse

rising like a treecreeper
wake the dead with leavened bread
      keys tambourine
      in my anorak pockets