songs of the summer ( so far )


songs of the summer ( so far ) ( ( raf os ) remmus eht fo sgnos )

diabetic midwife – scotch egg hatchling

hyperspace clive – mushy pea beats

dyslexic dental assistants – love on the m42

susan’s shoe – ( acapela instrumental )

ketchup kenneth – the ombudsman’s missus

vacant anus – marmite massacre

the parsnip farmers – piss off & diary

gavin in a milkfloat – the goat nextdoor

narnia f.c – the prog days of summer

d.j ball sack – technicolour dream scroat

( alternative names for rain )


( alternative names for rain ) ( niar rof seman evitanretla )

utnapishtim pish
spent pennies from heaven
what the quack ordered

the waz of the gods
high tides on magonia
floating noah’s boat

a river’s lifeblood
answering the shaman’s dance
bringer of puddles

quencher of gardens
& the splash within a birdbath
a storm’s hearth fire

why cagoules are cool
mate of macs & anoraks
grass’s ganymede

feeder of the trees
filler of ponds, lochs & lakes
sating all again

why not write about … ?


why not write about … ? ( ? … tuoba etirw ton yhw )

granny knotted baling twine
not a reef or hercules

why the green finch
is purple in your journals

buttons of the bronze age
once upon a swan

postcards from nowhere’s
hairy anus

partridges in beech trees
& the latest shrew news

humpty dumpty, humpbacks
the whales or the bridges

why the solar system’s warming up


why the solar system’s warming up ( pu gnimraw s’metsys ralos eht yhw )

farting cows on venus
phosphorus the farmer

martian spiders driving
hench monster trucks

clouds of phantom gas
from the anus of uranus

barbecues on neptune
– how bloody dare they?

no one on jupiter
dyes their hair purple

green or rainbow
– the keiper belt’s a gammon

no one respects
mercury’s pronouns

every sunday saturn
burns a bonfire

pluto never banged his pots
or wore a face nappy

anything but
the sun we all orbit

what the critics said


what the critics said ( dais scitirc eht tahw )

“the unicorn bristles
gently caress the heels”
( rennie rectangle, shoe buff buff monthly )

“tied too tightly
to ever be undone”
( zues ammon junior, the gordian )

“the phoenix feathers
sang me to sleep”
( eve smegingley, things that rhyme with willow )

“i laughed so hard
my harvest failed”
( archibald arsewipe, the sunday hexpress )

“one, zero, one, one
zero, one, zero, zero”
( gordon borgton, the annual bot review )

“rusty in places
but absolutely arrow-proof”
( mussafah goodwinson, the daily chain mail )

the morris dancers ( ! )


the morris dancers ( ! ) ( ( ! ) screcnad sirrom eht )

they live upon the fringes
like black eyed bus conductors

half within this whirl
fifty percent elsewhereish

perchance a c.a.m.r.a inn
on a cousin frequency

emerging when the chimes
knell them into eyesight

prancing like a hart
bobbing as a robin

on a beltane morn
or at the vicar’s garden party

men with wood clash
rod on rod action

erato wets her knickers
lost in mutant music

skipping like a scratched e.p
watch those bellends go

bobs on boxing day
in the corners of our vision thing

where the faeries play
games of hide & seek again

fading in & otherling
with their wonky radios

waving handkerchiefs
wafting white wraiths

what the folk are you?
what the folk is glowing on?

i’ve yet to catch a live one
& keep it in my net

they wriggle like a stickleback
then vanish as a phantom