( & begin )


( & begin ) ( nigeb & )

quills from the feathers
of a jubjub bird

ink from the sacs
of a massive fucking kraken

a seat & a desk
plus a cuppa tea is good

sheet from the trees
in the shoulda coulda wood

monkey country


monkey country ( yrtnuoc yeknom )

jungles of oak

mountain ash or rowan

      orchards where we grow

      the money that we squirrel

nuts & bananas

both are common currency

      barter with aplomb

      swinging hairy arms

where the green is green

& the queen’s a lemur

      north west of frogland

      east of hobbit island

we, the simian folk

in this monkey country

      sing until the sun shines

      under earl grey skies

stirring rhesus blood

gibbons in glamorgan

      tamarins in manchester

      marmosets in derby

blue baboons at troon

with their balls in the dunes

      shakespeare came

      from our collective chatter

in between tea breaks

typed in a castle

      a bolthole cottage

      or a new build mews

breeding when we’re not

spanking ourselves

      spreading like the pox

      on the nine o’ clock snooze

the greening swards


the greening swards ( sdraws gnineerg eht )

strolling on a golden egg
when the hen of then rewards
climb the bladder’s ladder rung
life is snakes ‘n’ chequerboards

piss a pot of that’s shallot
skin the pickled goblin hordes
onion rings ‘n’ flutter wings
penning pencils fencing swords

posting pillared letterheads
dodging normal’zzz mortarboards
out about – the papered trails
dipping dales ‘n’ crossing fords

wander swan, the bend is thy
catch a buzz ‘n’ fly towards
lend an ear ‘n’ disappear
major keys ‘n’ minor chords

musical, the mutant moon
clarinets ‘n’ clavichords
potpourri a gloaming sea
going like the clapperboards

’til the kitchen syncs in time
jumping jacks ‘n’ leaping lords
spawn another yawning rhyme
morning on the greening swards

safely does it


safely does it ( ti seod tlefas )

i’m signing in
not keith or frank
my normalzzz name
so i can wank
– safely

i’m registered
but not a nonce
we all are now
conform at once
– safely

the internet
is hurty words
i’d sooner cry
or feed the birds
– safely

& thought is all
so genocide
erase the free
– safely

a dangerous phrase
is you decide
so dox the lot
with psuedocide
– safely

pick the blandest
lowest of fruits
is stamping boots
– safely

we cannot write
or sing a song
or shite a light
upon this wrong
– safely

electric eyes
are perving all
& alphabets
are souping y’all
– safely

i’m all alone
in outer space
a terry square
upon my face
– safely

i’m banging pots
for monkey pox
so i can eat
me cocoa pops
– safely

the green is grey
the bots is bits
the shoe is glue
the fucker fits
– safely

we’re killing all
& onward’s hell
we’re skipping forth
but wishing well
– safely

final words on athlete’s foot


final words on athlete’s foot ( toof s’etelhta no sdrtow lanif )

i thought you were
an urban myth

like potholing
or lichtenstein

until your spores settled
in between my toes

my polished oak toes
beneath my wooden legs

the doctor said

the bishop tried
to exorcise

& yet you grew
& reddened then

a crimson shade
of blistered skin

scaling in places
like a lovely old toad

she of whiffy socks
feeding on the phantom jam

itches in the night
whispered then – i love you

oh, how i believed
until i learnt of others

with the same infection
– you’d been sleeping around

so i chainsawed
the limbs below me bellend

apart in foot & heart
you linger where the head is

you fungal fucking whore
mrs. tinea pedis

middle may not march


middle may not march ( hcram ton yam elddim )

red shepherd sunrise

warning the morning

      sights for sore iris

      & drooping bluebell

ends in beginnings

bring your own picnic

      pencils in cases


glistening magpies

pied like a wagtail

      pipers inside us

      miming the high notes

playing the rhubarb

fooling the pudding

      pissing the parcel

      fluttering butter

spring is a fucker

further’s a murmur

      chasing a sun day

      whistle a willow

walking in warbles

spooling in cagoules

      piriton’s flashbacks

      sneezing the pastures

yes is a nomad

walk upon england

      blake is awakened

      so sod the machine

newton is sleeping

twofold’s a thistle

      beulah beckons

      & god save the green

gravy chain


gravy chain ( niahc yvarg )

river it on
ripples ‘n’ raffles
vessels ‘n’ vassals
singing a swan

singing a swan
cygnus is calling
then in the morning
kissing the gone

kissing the gone
patching in purples
pining for kernels
while in the yon

while in the yon
flockings of sucklings
waddles of ducklings
springing upon

springing upon
green is the chantry
pan in me pantry
god on the john

god on the john
shitting it better
pissing forever
river it on