old macdonald had a farm e - i - e - i - o until one day when it completely vanished what happened to it? no one knows some say it was nicked by gypos or aliens or alien gypsies yes old macdonald had a farm but where it is now? that's a flipping mystery ...
coming very soon a magic singing spoon the sad story of the cow that thinks she's santa claus the truth about the moon an update on vests plus 4 & 20 black shirts but first some pointless adverts ...
there are bits of winter in summer
the notion's still there - but the cold's lost its hold
all the snowmen have migrated
to the safety of the poles
yet the ice cream industry - she positively burgeons
in this yin yang existence
where contradictions
rule for certain
...
they say he was born on a weekday the man with no toenails ( but toes ) in the maternity ward of a hospital but which one? no one knows in many ways he was shrouded in mystery which helped the devil-magic rumours thrive so an angry mob & i bumped him off last tuesday sleep tight boiled alive ...
when phyllis discovered liquorice tea she thought 'take that pontefract you're the one for me i quite like liquorice - i quite like a brew but why be an either-beaver ( ? ) this here's the power of two ~ sorted' ...
there's a chimp in your armour in your armour there's an ape not a chink in your armour but an chimp clad in plate & chimp's causing y'oldey khaos as chimp slowly larks along there's a chimp in your armour what the fuck is going on ( ? ) ...
please don't call an ambulance if you fall dead down the stairs or decapitate yourself whilst chopping carrots clean off - nothing there please don't call an ambulance if you fatally drown in the shower most accidents do happen at home but certain things are beyond their powers ... ( pauper scroats; follow-up to 'call the police' how exiting ... )
if you've witnessed a crime you shall call the police it might be sheep-bothering or a fracas in the streets they're all dodgy wankers far lower than thieves but they do good too occasionally so call the police ...
yes clock museums have many many faces & vicarages, well they're very angry places as sure all haiku are smug little squits aye facts make the world go 'round - god bless this fucking shit ( x ) ...
sue had a stone in her shoe sue removed shoe to de-stone as we do yet when she did to her surprise with bemusement in her eyes 'fuckadoodleooh ( ! ) it's no stone - it's a shoe' yes sue had a shoe in her shoe a tiny replica of the shoe of sue 'who? what? how? shite why? not a shoe clue have i' but weird shit's real too & this story's true ...
resarf poetry 