there's a chimp in your armour in your armour there's an ape not a chink in your armour but an chimp clad in plate & chimp's causing y'oldey khaos as chimp slowly larks along there's a chimp in your armour what the fuck is going on ( ? ) ...
Poems
please don’t call an ambulance
please don't call an ambulance if you fall dead down the stairs or decapitate yourself whilst chopping carrots clean off - nothing there please don't call an ambulance if you fatally drown in the shower most accidents do happen at home but certain things are beyond their powers ... ( pauper scroats; follow-up to 'call the police' how exiting ... )
a little poem about that there nothing
some clever tosser clogs well they insist that that there nothing don't exist a bit like the tea towel drawer monster which apparently is dust & trapped air but a quick thought i think they should spare for those folk who play musical chairs with never any music or vaguely tonal humming & never any fucking chairs there wankers ...
on the binge
the kids nowadays are drinkin' binge i read then tutted in the paper such a terrible thing we didn't have this binge drink when i were a lad & it seems completely evil so beware the binge - binge bad ...
campanology?
campanology? now that rings a bell ...
( a lesbian )
my dream is to one day become a lesbian so i can get away with dungarees as it is when i wear them i look like a lost farmhand 'cause i don't speak a single word of greek ... ( author nodes; please don't be offended by this poem it's just silly shit )
an even poem
good evensong good evendance good eventide an even chance good evening all even stevens agree yes we get there even tually ...
win a prize
enter a competition & you might win a prize chances are you won't but there's no way if you don't try it might be a chicken that quacks like a duck 'cause someone has to win these things fingers crossed good luck ...
a pecking order
a pecking order the system of chicken the sequence of beak ( me first ) ...
( mary )
recently i've not been myself yes far too often i've been someone else all morning i've been mary queen of scots implicated by that bastard babbington plot & if i carry on this gender-bend way no doubt they'll behead me down at fotheringhay yes recently i've not been myself since the others spiked my apple juice - blame everyone else ...
resarf poetry 