the man with no nostrils still had a nose 'til one day a big sneeze where does it go? the man with with no nostrils still had a nose 'til one day a big sneeze his head explodes ...
Poems
10, 000 grahams
there are always 10,000 grahams on earth since before the dawn of man it's all part of some plan with their magic name they maintain equilibrium is sustained if there were 10,000 & 1 then every goose would turn into a swan ( ... & that's just for starters ... ) ...
put y’ foot down
a brownfield site among the shite on a wank december's night a sewage farm the bowels of hell a plague pit piled vile sights - foul smells a crash-smash drenched in weeping rain among the bits of plane meets train or a y'oldey war - those cannon balls nah, that's no place for a picnic at all ...
f*cki*g *oems, *astar* th*ngs …
they hide behind bushes then flash us unawares then leg it off in the nud somewhere over there they sneak into our gardens in the perverse depths of night then in the middle of the lawn they shit a massive shite they babble next to us on buses when loadsa double seats are free clothed but recognizable please stop bothering me & so i shout through the morrow mist as birds begin to sing 'SHAKESPEARE WAS A FRAUDULENT WANKER - FUCKING POEMS, BASTARD THINGS' ...
nineteen 25
quietly convinced by mysteries & fickleness that twenty 4 hour clocks display the year & not the time i glanced across 1 evening within breathing space of michaelmas & to my surprise you cheeky swine she's done it again - IT'S NINETEEN 25 ...
there’s a vole in my pocket
there's a vole in my pocket the vole got in through the hole having scurried up my left trousered leg beneath green corduroy - rock 'n' roll yes there's a vole in my pocket it's jiggly it's fidgeting about so now i've resorted to cartwheels in the hope the little shit falls out ...
allium ursinum & thereabouts
it's an overcast sunday let's afternoon stroll along the flat of the valley 'neath the dales as they roll by the banks of the river where the wild garlic grows suitably level but a delight for the nose ...
multi-mickle-muckle-pile-up
many a little makes a mickle many a mickle makes a muckle many a many a makes a muddle fuddles - quibbles troubles - riddles (?) ...
charity shop man-mannequin
charity shop man-mannequin a penny for your thoughts or failing that i'll buy some geriatric cords in your store all for a good cause ...
everyday’s only a blank page if you dismiss the invisible ink
everyday's only a blank page if you dismiss the invisible ink the scribblings of yesterdays disguised quite indistinct the meanderings of previously the potterings of yore yes everyday's only a blank page if you manage to ignore what's been written before ...
resarf poetry 