on a piss-wet afternoon in june i dusted the dusty bits humming some tunes the radetzky march then the theme from pingu on a piss-wet afternoon in june ...
Poetry
the girl with carrots for fingers
the girl with carrots for fingers had actual carrots for fingers i met her one crunchy candlemas eve hiding in a wood amidst the frosty old trees the girl with carrots for fingers oh how her carrot touch lingers she escaped from a farm-lab then lived on the run a super-hush experiment & potentially; weapon yes the girl with carrots for fingers don't worry - her hair wasn't ginger we spoke of a future her voice was a song but come the yawn of morning-thing that carrot girl had gone ...
the man who invented sneezing
loads of moon ago lived the man who invented sneezing he claimed it was an accident crossed with a fluke 'it just popped out one evening' he apologised at first saying 'sorry that's weird shat, that's wrong' but soon other people starting sneezing too - it's funny what things catch on ...
dinner dream
i hosted my fantasy dinner party foursome in last sleep's culinary dream chris packham then rosa luxemburg judas iscariot & idi amin ~ everyone loved the trifle idi asked me for the recipe ...
( had a farm )
old macdonald had a farm e - i - e - i - o until one day when it completely vanished what happened to it? no one knows some say it was nicked by gypos or aliens or alien gypsies yes old macdonald had a farm but where it is now? that's a flipping mystery ...
patience poem
patience is listening to the radio on the off-chance the dj will exclusively play new material by mozart after centuries away plus news about the album & up-coming tour dates great art can't be rushed yes - well worth the wait ...
method the lewis duckworth
coming very soon a magic singing spoon the sad story of the cow that thinks she's santa claus the truth about the moon an update on vests plus 4 & 20 black shirts but first some pointless adverts ...
bits of winter in summer
there are bits of winter in summer
the notion's still there - but the cold's lost its hold
all the snowmen have migrated
to the safety of the poles
yet the ice cream industry - she positively burgeons
in this yin yang existence
where contradictions
rule for certain
...
the man with no toenails ( but toes )
they say he was born on a weekday the man with no toenails ( but toes ) in the maternity ward of a hospital but which one? no one knows in many ways he was shrouded in mystery which helped the devil-magic rumours thrive so an angry mob & i bumped him off last tuesday sleep tight boiled alive ...
when phyllis discovered liquorice tea
when phyllis discovered liquorice tea she thought 'take that pontefract you're the one for me i quite like liquorice - i quite like a brew but why be an either-beaver ( ? ) this here's the power of two ~ sorted' ...
resarf poetry 