on a piss-wet afternoon in june i dusted the dusty bits humming some tunes the radetzky march then the theme from pingu on a piss-wet afternoon in june ...
Words
the girl with carrots for fingers
the girl with carrots for fingers had actual carrots for fingers i met her one crunchy candlemas eve hiding in a wood amidst the frosty old trees the girl with carrots for fingers oh how her carrot touch lingers she escaped from a farm-lab then lived on the run a super-hush experiment & potentially; weapon yes the girl with carrots for fingers don't worry - her hair wasn't ginger we spoke of a future her voice was a song but come the yawn of morning-thing that carrot girl had gone ...
dinner dream
i hosted my fantasy dinner party foursome in last sleep's culinary dream chris packham then rosa luxemburg judas iscariot & idi amin ~ everyone loved the trifle idi asked me for the recipe ...
( had a farm )
old macdonald had a farm e - i - e - i - o until one day when it completely vanished what happened to it? no one knows some say it was nicked by gypos or aliens or alien gypsies yes old macdonald had a farm but where it is now? that's a flipping mystery ...
patience poem
patience is listening to the radio on the off-chance the dj will exclusively play new material by mozart after centuries away plus news about the album & up-coming tour dates great art can't be rushed yes - well worth the wait ...
method the lewis duckworth
coming very soon a magic singing spoon the sad story of the cow that thinks she's santa claus the truth about the moon an update on vests plus 4 & 20 black shirts but first some pointless adverts ...
the man with no toenails ( but toes )
they say he was born on a weekday the man with no toenails ( but toes ) in the maternity ward of a hospital but which one? no one knows in many ways he was shrouded in mystery which helped the devil-magic rumours thrive so an angry mob & i bumped him off last tuesday sleep tight boiled alive ...
when phyllis discovered liquorice tea
when phyllis discovered liquorice tea she thought 'take that pontefract you're the one for me i quite like liquorice - i quite like a brew but why be an either-beaver ( ? ) this here's the power of two ~ sorted' ...
a chimp in your armour
there's a chimp in your armour in your armour there's an ape not a chink in your armour but an chimp clad in plate & chimp's causing y'oldey khaos as chimp slowly larks along there's a chimp in your armour what the fuck is going on ( ? ) ...
please don’t call an ambulance
please don't call an ambulance if you fall dead down the stairs or decapitate yourself whilst chopping carrots clean off - nothing there please don't call an ambulance if you fatally drown in the shower most accidents do happen at home but certain things are beyond their powers ... ( pauper scroats; follow-up to 'call the police' how exiting ... )
resarf poetry 