Spoken Word

new strangery who


You aint from around these here be parts

have you come to steal our donkeys

our carts

& rustle our sheep

then murder us in our sleep

with a musket to the head

or rusty tent peg through the heart

?





As you aint from these vales & hillsides

have you roamed over dales

far & wide

under various aliases

assumed - lies - disguised

to come for our daughters

our tractors

plus wives

?





As you aint local-yokel

it's true

if you were we'd all recognise you

so we'll keep our close eyes

on new strangery who

whilst silently praying

that you're just passing through.





"Go on, fuck off"

...

prayer poem

Dearest Gods of the Air

then of course

Jesus & the other 1 Lord

please ban vintage steam fairs

nasty dreams & all wars.






Bad smells & smart cars

the cult of celebrity

glove puppets jumping on their own

from opened cupboards

& the piss-take annoying vagueness

of brevity.





Plus can we have more Butterflies in January?

Will I go to HELL

if I prefer dirty-sliced-white over granary?

Are grey squirrels really a species

or just that little bit older?

Alleyways nice 1 4 glistening-listening

& lifting these chips - in a bit

off my shoulder.





(AmEnd)

...

quite ominous stuff

A loud thunder cloud clapped

then some scaffolding collapsed

as an evil wind blew

so the Queen followed-through.





A 1-headed magpie

exclaimed a single sad sigh

thence flew under a ladder

as the lunatics grew madder.





Plus all the cats were howling

& the turtle doves were growling

until it was clear to all

so bollocks to crystal balls.





Yes it's unjoyously unsurprising

there's shat nastiness arising

& this shite might get tough

coz that's quite ominous stuff

...

the secret diary of an amateur philanthropist (more stile over substance)





There's no need to even mention
divine intervention,
bother the Sybils
or call a steward's inquiry.





As without any quibbles
as one can tell from the scribbles,
this is clearly the diary
of an amateur philanthropist.




& part-time hamster-rights activist
& my-first-chemistry-set alchemist,
with all the wrong basics
but still trying to make gold.





Please don't tell a soul
...


x

a wonky smudge & a head stuffed with dust

A wonky smudge
come sun or sodden trudge,
we're off-plumb on purpose
judge not lest ye be fudge.


& a head stuffed with dust
in the land of things & fluff,
slow worms are in fact limbless lizards
in odd we trust & it's never enough.


(so)


Uninsert the time & date
& stay unperturbed of rhymes & wraiths,
as all of these tea cups are storm proof as standard
but our rust contains traces of gate...

feral & free

Words have a right to roam

feral & free,

& mass trespass 

throughout Kinder Scout

& further

…

Such as Mam Tor

or the mental world of thought,

whilst pretending to be an accountant

or if they like – a taikonaut

…

(because)

It’s all up to them & mean man no harm

beyond sticks & bricks they cannot hurt us,

however: Some words trample crops

& intentionally spook livestock

& leave gates open on purpose

…

Bloody poets

…

Afoot (dot dot dot)

Another blank sheet

on another back seat

,

this could be anarchy

potentially

.

Or sense possibly

& stroke (/) probably

,

a brush from the wings

of a passing dark thing

.

Thus signalling the beginning

 of a downward spiral

,

as this ink 

just might go viral

.

& then mutate

at a devastating pace

–

& well within a fortnight

wipe out the human race

.

.

.

But phew it’s my stop

,

so I ring the bell

‘

& thank the proverbial

,

we live for now

…

Dear Nature…

Dear Nature,

just a few words

about the birds

…

Cuckoos shouldn’t spit

in public,

let alone leave it

lying around on the ground

.

I think treecreepers should experiment

more with bushes,

& maybe learn to cook

& finally get ’round to writing that book

.

& why do owls

insist on asking

whose there all the time

?

I’ve never an owl

for a light or spare change

or is this pellet yours or mine

?

Other than the above,

I think you’re doing brilliantly

.

Yours sincerely, 

anonymous fan

….