things to do in november


things to do in november ( rebmevon ni od ot sgniht )

kick the ghosts of oak leaves
under barren branches

sing a saucy ballad
from the english civil war

plod the sodden pastures
splodging clods of mud

like a muck spreader
splattering the shat

see the salmon fly
up the weir to die

thickets disappear
misted is the clear

watch the river rise
as the sun is buggered

rogered with aplomb
up the bloody jackson

prance in pantaloons
under wailing moons

grow an anal beard
& keep your cheeks warm

plant a bulb or two
’til the light shines through

eat a toffee apple
in a hot bubble bath

gift me this


gift me this ( siht em tfig )

unicorn shoe’s

chocolate sombreros

      a majick rubber chicken

      laying rubber eggs

a poem in me head

a hymn that shakes the dead

      a robot gerbil

      that washes up the dishes

musical chairs

what sing a saucy ballad

      silent, crownless crackers

      the turin shroud’s knacker’s

truth on the tongue

of the brain-stream snooze

     sasquatch pube’s

     or a yeti’s bottled sweat

sir gawain’s wavy

circadian rhythm’s


      a good knight’s sleep

mushy peas on earth

a parsnip in a pear tree

     cromwell’s brain

     pickled in a jar

intermission mash


intermission mash ( hsam noissimretni )

moss is greener now
cheese & pickle sandwiches

sirens singing bye
adieu to you
i’m ambulanced

pencil in a seven
see the starlings, darling

louder than a barn owl
down a megaphone

don’t forget a key
& biscuits for the dog

then things speckle
as an egg
beneath a hen

while my henry hoover
gently weeps

quiet like a miming choir
or a poltergeist
in a coma

muse is a river


muse is a river ( revir a si esum )

drift of the scribbles, quibbles in i
ripple of riddles, slice of the pi

pizza the puzzle, source of the roar
blowing a bubble, jig of the saw

plod with a pencil, sod of the off
notes of the mentalz, peaks in a trough

floatings of flotsam, blossom in spring
life of a possum, sultan of sing

cousin of cabbage, mother of flux
finding the language, quacking with ducks

laughing at normalz – nothing is there
prancing through portals, boxing the hare

hill in a mirror, scrys & the lows
muse is a river – go where she flows

shit in a forest, piss in the sea
gland of the promised, manna is she

only fan’s filth


only fans filth ( htlif snaf ylno )

… cooling …

… tube axial…

… ceiling …

… kitchen …

… mounted …

… tower …

… bladeless …

… folding …

… cockade …

… pedestal …

… jenny lind …

… shit hitter …

… thumbhold …

… & centrifugal …

( phwoar )



14n21 ( 12n41 )

once upon a mellotron
twisting winter’s melons

when the penny droplets
turn on a sixth sense

seven heads for hekate
khroncile the khaos

yes, the internet’s a shill
& not your long lost uncle

living in a bolted holt
but otter than that

sing a song of owls abound
& gravy boats in navies

then the west is easternmost
so the south is norther

or a distant parsnip
parping on the wind

while the future’s tuesday
with a wolfish huff

as a goblin howls
in the cavern’s bowels

blow another candle
on your hamster’s birthday cake

see the bronze age barrow boy
sleeping like the cloisters



weirdo ( odriew )

e, the i in team

   wobble in dyspraxic shoes

   wind the cocks backwards

at the ends ‘n’ crusts

   edge the normal’zzz borderlands

   egging n.p.c’s

nk a kitchen’s sink

   irk the latest necro-cult

   in the brainstream snooze

ow a floating boat

   riddle in the mist of gist

   rubber chicken shit

uck the songs of swans

   dance beneath a mutant moon

   drink the dawning’s dews

nce the daze is dung

   odysseys in anoraks

   odd socks as standard

things i’ll never do


things i’ll never do ( od reven ll’i sgniht )

go potholing

write a modern sonnet

swim in raw sewage

especially front crawl

talk to a ginger

eat my own toes

grow a second nose

on my left elbow

see a poltergeist

catch a meteor

like baby sweetcorn

even in a stir fry

call the cops & grass

dance on shattered glass

get the daemon pricks

or the booster shit

sky dive from a plane

with a beach umbrella

in lieu of parachute

shoot an albatross

or a unicorn

picnic in the rain

vote in an election

or your mother – again