a catchy haiku

shrapnel from heaven

eggs from nests in whitsun winds

clap from the vicar

bursting with p

pineapple poets
painting paddleboats purple
pensively pausing

plink plonk pianos
penguin penfriends pickle prose
pluviophiles purr

pastoral pirates
perplex peevish poltergeists
pigeons peck pancakes

peter piper prays
precipitation’s pending
plentiful puddles

( & don’t forget )

a waterproof

your backdoor key

the spear of destiny

a pen, a pad

a can of ginger beer

a cardigan

a mars bar




rubber johnnies

garlic cloves

chewy toffee

silver bullets

toothbrush, toothpaste

pickled peppers

five gold rings

my bow of burning gold

my arrows of desire


safety matches

ants in your pants

fire extinguisher

rubber chickens

bucket loads of brevity

pickled peppers

a wanker hat

the kitchen bloody sink

& your memory

four seasons in one may

green becomes greener
      as rabbits multiply
vivaldi’s slinky
      slithers down the stairs

then clouds disappear
      as if never effing here
shafts from the nearest star
      tan the garden gnomes

next the air turns like
      the tumble drier
of judas iscariot
      & frisks the haunted orchard

sooner than a should
      & shivers climb our spines
so the apple blossom snows
      her iced-white petals