splodge it & scarper


splodge it & scarper ( repracs & ti egdolps )

pluck a plum as if a lute
topple not saturnal crowns
flap away the fruits of may
blather nuts & gather nouns

up before a fall asleep
scrawling like a spider scribe
thinking like a kitchen sieve
live ‘n’ letters diatribe

when the hen’s a pecking pen
& the goblins gobble grapes
she’s a lizard lottery
mistress of the apes ‘n’ scrapes

i, the spillage idiom
riddle eight a choral clue
like a leaping salmon flies
brief is butter finger too

spilling bags of magic beans
dancing ants in pantomimes
turning topsy terpsichore
tossing ’til the wanker rhymes

see a sea of seven stars
strut a pheasant’s rusted gait
then the garden gargles green
giz a wave – & oscillate

fill in the …


fill in the … ( …eht ni llif )

b adgers barking, hark

   but the pen’s a pencil case

   bugger all calling

et there be spanners

   lemon scented letterheads

   light another tab

nswer with antlers

   attack like helicopters

   arses in the air

otice then the clocks

   nincompoop this interlude

   not stop ticking

iss a magic kipper

   kick invisible tree stumps

   knight this greening night

ight before vision

   scribbles on sabbaticals

   salmon swim sideways



pppoooeeetttrrryyy ( yyyrrrttteeeoooppp )

pisspot platitudes
pennies from magonia
purple prose comas

odd sock odysseys
otters in your pocket watch
operatic owls

etch upon the mist
elemental excrement
echoes in hedgerows

type tripe titterings
trundle up the eiderdown
tonguing twisted toss

roar like a mouse mat
roundabouts & out again
row your floating boat

yet the yeti see
yesterday’s a paper plane
you fucking pilchard

the things we write


the things we write ( etirw ew sgniht eht )

dear mrs. worthington,

fear not the fog lights

      wish you were hearsay

      seven bellend lane

long for a gone walk

or silverfish fishing

      full moon looming

      oven’s in the dinner

porpoises, portals

scribble ’til you’re normalzzz

      god is an onion

      sincerely yours, anon

ten crisp crescent

messrs so & so

      wet paint drying while

      – this pen is running ou

see how they rumba

episode three

      once upon a double dip

      chapter ninety nine

die, you fucking goblins

don’t forget a brollie

      eat more broccoli

      see you in the morrow



pen ( nep )

pen a sea of ink
see the kraken eating tea
cakes as clippers sink

plink a twisted nap
dreaming of contortionists
’til the buggers snap

plonk the plums of thyme
life on planet excrement
write this shit in rhyme

pluck a burst of herbs
plough with owls & dance with nouns
adjectives & verbs

pen a sword of sorts
swish as if a scribble’s knight
fight the normalzzz thought’s

pant a pencil’s case
shavings fall from sharpeners
larkers scrawl & face

penguin penumbras
penicillin pentagrams
pungent pensioners

pen another then
ink of squids & tentacles
vegetables & men



screen-locked ( dekcol-neercs )

spot the screen-locked

miss the the unseen

silver orbs soar

over clover

of a morning’s

nature dreamscapes

watching spats

& prancing doctors

see the flesh-bots

supping nectar

lap the sop

of puppy photos

texting friends

that loathe them deeply

dragons dance

in mackerel skies

saxon phantoms

plod their footsteps

roman ghosts

beside their stride

left of tread

the breathing undead

pixie shite

on the sole of their new shoes