the truth about spiders


the truth about spiders  (  sredips tuoba hturt eht  )

spiders are an arachnid

like the scorpion

spiders crawl with eight legs

& six phantom limbs

spiders are silent

but speak all the tongues

spiders live on marzipan

pickled eggs & coleslaw

spiders sleep in garden sheds

      or underneath your futon      

spiders dance the cancan

& play the ukulele

spiders cry at christenings

but laugh at funerals - too

spiders write erotic haiku

on the backs of first class stamps

spiders run the b.b.c

the w.i & the caravan club

spiders rise in sunshine

but melt in the rain

spiders on the brain again

spiders, spiders, spiders

spiders, spiders, spiders




i’m the beans


i’m the beans  (  snaeb eht m’i  )

i'm the beans & pumpkin seeds

ghosts of oats

& broccoli florets

i'm the prunes

the stuff of glue

nuts & dates

& dundee cake

i'm the fibre

top bog dog

khan of the khazis

& you are my log flume

king of the sphincters

the caesar of squeeze

wipe, flush

& wash y' hands


beyond the peas


beyond the peas  (  saep eht dnoyeb  )

beneath the glum of fiddle dum

the portents scrawl to kingdom scum

the sun's the star

of trar-luh-lar

as orchards hang & bang's a drum

within the squirms of earthen toss

the tripe of the likes, the writes of doss

the broken bones

the drones of clones

a drip of piss, a pint of dross

upon the song of flaccid rain

& squiggles of the lizard brain

the surface soil

as saucepans boil

a dream unseen - it's beige again

a yawn is born, the squall of squibs

a trickling of tickled ribs

a stickleback

a sack o' cack

the pilfering of pilchard nibs

beyond the peas of tees & hees

& limericks of chortled cheese

the normalz sorts

guffaws & snorts

for weasels with lobotomies

i ode to glow & lick the moon

& dance the ants of pantaloon

a pad, a pen

a scrap & then

the nadgers of a splattered loon



pick a pickled


pick a pickled  ( delkcip a kcip )

pick a pickled cabbage rhyme

acid brain & alkaline

dance a heap of steaming sheet

panting ants & pantomime

play the petered piper's bags

stitch the witch of tattered rags

hop the lair of yonder hare

may the pole & fly with flags

smoke the mope of dopamine

spilling hills as oceans gleam

figaro the river so

flap a bat & cat the cream

spot the dog & stone a prune

float with ghosts & lick the moon

pick a pickled cabbage rhyme

spiral in the afternoon



ring, ring telephones


ring, ring telephones  (  senohpelet gnir ,gnir  )

ring, ring telephones

tin can canticles

spew blue catacombs

nosebleed metronomes

nosebleed metronomes

whiplash saddle wax

ostrich cottages

deep green baritones

deep green baritones

sea change chancellories

wednesday's weather vanes

what-for cornerstones

what-for cornerstones

breadcrumb thunderstruck

headfuck undertones

ring, ring telephones

- piss off -





picnicesque  (  euqsecincip  )

ginger ninja ale

lemonade sun spots

rusty backdoor quiche

gangrene salad

bombay mix up

hamsters in a hamper

tectonic paper plates

cheese & piffle languages

shades of old king coleslaw

& black cat napkins