~
i heart asparagus ( sugarapsa traeh i )
…
oh, green sparrow grass
anagram of aura gasps
spearing me dearly
…
~
i heart asparagus ( sugarapsa traeh i )
…
oh, green sparrow grass
anagram of aura gasps
spearing me dearly
…
~
goes saying the as ( sa eht gniyas seog )
…
time to feed the unicorns
& face the candle’s bright
morris dance on mercury
& see the carrot knight
fight the cabbage dragon or
paint the piper’s door
kiss the vicar’s knicker drawer
& bid you all goodnight
…
~
a bits of a poemz ( zmeop a fo stib a )
…
the bus was late
like henry the eighth
( who died
in fifteen forty seven )
ten passed two
& eleven went twelve
( washing machines
live longer with calgon )
vans car by
but cars van faster
( they should have seen it coming
– the tay bridge disaster )
phil collin’s middle names
are david & charles
( there goes godot
in his souped-up milk float )
sixteen down
in the cryptid crossword
( a badger & an otter
crossed with an owl )
according to guiness
the oldest known woodlouse
( was aged eighty seven
& two months – in dog years )
cats can’t dance
the macarena backwards
( & the blackpool tower
is taller than saint paul’s )
why this trivia?
yonder is a songbird
( shitting on the vicar’s
peter storm cagoule )
…
~
snake shaped cake? ( ?ekac depahs eknas )
…
go on, just a slither
…
~
june salad ( dalas enuj )
…
foxglove gulliver
goosegrass troubadour
puck lore undertones
deep green clover
how now, trouser press?
great big little owl
fusilli field mouse
flowery treetops
row, row rosary
ray gun ganymede
butterscotch bathtub
toejob telegram
plimsole solstice
pineapple panpipes
blue moon’s phallacies
blooming raspberries
…
( author notes )
if i ever write a poem
about binley mega chippy
then please, please, please
shoot me in the fucking head
…
~
bullocks in the graveyard ( daryevarg eht ni skcollub )
…
through the rotten fence
where the ash branch fell
on soaked oak posts
after indra bolted
came the storming hordes
of cloven hoofed yoofs
tagged like wrong’uns
out on parole
mooing for freedom
in the doldrums of june
cheeky fresian bastards
hared upon the greenery
fucking up the grass
chomping on the flowers
in the crystal vases
as the vicar legged it
larking like tomorrow
is a distant cousin
as the farmer napped
in the haybarn’s loft
death row’s fugitives
next month’s bourguignon
patted with aplomb
on your true love’s headstone
…
~
dox ’em all ( lla me’ xod )
…
marmaduke mcmarzipan
six crisp crescent
leamington foot spa
pantheus wilson
eighty eight smegma lane
summer settee
susan supernovaton
two bubblewrap avenue
sheep shear shire
gavin magnetron-jones
no fixed adobe
– possibly a ghost
…
~
why the nuck fot? ( ?tof kcun eht yhw )
…
singing sea shanties
in the east midlands
building snowmen
in the amazon jungle
looking for smiths
in a chinese phone book
playing games of twister
with a goblin – on the moon
living in an igloo
on a solar spot
spoonerising on – yeah
– why the nuck fot?
writing the tripe
of another offal pun
shaving the hair
off a dolphin’s head
russian roulette
with your shadow at noon
all make more sense
than bugger all instead
…
~
dreams of the past ( tsap eht fo smaerd )
…
the twentieth century
is eating pot noodles
in a shell suit
while the miners strike
the nineteenth century
is reading frankenstein
dressed like jack the ripper
on the flying scotsman
the eighteenth century
is humming bars of mozart
in a river mill town
in a mantua gown
all the former centuries
old but never dead
dozing in a nursing home
between teatime & bed
…
~
f l o w i n g ( g n i w o l f )
…
f eathers on a breeze
fists in the yeah
first class stampedes
l eaves on the river
lemons that blow
lyrics from the otherland
o nce the cock is up
onions shed their skins
order is reborn
w aving like an x-ray
waddle like a duckling
when the tongue’s untied
i n between ebbs
itchy rectal passages
icing me cakehole
n evermore’s a nob’ead
notes the spillage idiom
now is a cloudburst
g lowing inside your
golden noggin’s
gobshite hinterland
…