catatonic crow


catatonic crow ( worc cinotatac )

thunder under rain
staggers in y’ anorak
clatter cabbage brain

wobble on & laugh
cauliflower power trips
tossers block the path

intermittent owl
mutant moons of jupiter
as the brambles growl

squiggles squid the nib
curtain twitchers curdle cream
skirt around the fib

weasel breezes blow
speckle spectred spectrograph
catatonic crow

flutter bumblebee
spread it like a butterfly
mumbles jumble me

fare thee well


fare thee well ( llew eeht eraf )

it’s time to ride the diamond turnip

pie above the turtle doves

flying in the ocean’s lotions

scratch another cannonball

swan beyond the otter’s porridge

grease the knees of eventide

chase the changeling’s mutant poodle

smoothly – like a slimy lamprey

– shake the milky way

the cousin of bread


the cousin of bread ( daerb fo nisuoc eht )

a breakfast friend

the cousin of bread

a knife in hand

& butter is spread

a scrunching lunch

a supper, a tea

with margarine

& runny honey

a scented star

the king of the crunch

a bed f’ beans

a pinch & a punch

the chief of charred

a hymn in the air

the king of crisp

& chairman of yeahhh

a fibrous sprite

a round of the brown

a glue f’ pooh

& gobble it down

a sort of nod

a cheer & a sup

& disappear

the bottoms of up

a slice of slang

for that which is done

the fucked, the dead

the buggered ‘n’ spun

a sign, a post

& rhymer of ghost

or northernmost

– this poem is toast

a conker fell


a conker fell ( llef reknoc a )

a conker fell upon the path

a feather & a leaf

upon the soft & sodden ground

– the lightness of a thief

& ponder i upon a plod

is this a sort of nod?

a mirror land of sinking sand

a portent & a sod

a bugger of the rectal rim

a spanner up the arse

a bounder of a bouncing bean

until the green is sparse

the roundabouts of out again

with knickers in a spin

a vernal verse – but in reverse

the cousin of begin

& kiss the twists of sylphid mist

a wraith upon the vale

a leper of a letterbox

& brush the foxes’ tail

as breezes blow & weasels crow

& thickets disappear

a conker fell upon the path

& so the bend is here

( oh, bollocks )

yesterday is tomorrow’s today


yesterday is tomorrow’s today ( yadot s’worromot si yadretsey )

then fledgling phoenixes

stage left & right turn

them from the ashes

of another dry ice age

breathe like a bicycle

fly like a mole

bite the bullet’s hole

before the trigger is triggered

time is like octopuses

on a bouncy castle

dodge the phantom rain clouds

hiding in the sun’s shine

tudor computers

neolithic portals

yawns of a morning

sleeping ’til the evening

so, robotic romans

saturn spins both ways

spanners, anvils, calendars

circles, whirrs & banisters

hammers, hammocks, kippers red

hamsters haddock in the head

easter was a phantom land

& bring your own sandwiches

piss another proem


piss another proem  (  meorp rehtona ssip  )



once upon a yarn

underneath the moon

as the badgers barked

with the village loon


so the annals wrote

in amongst the dross

when the spectres float

& the bishops toss


turning circled sleep

over once again

in the middle’s mist

mizzle is the rain


mares within the air

retribution’s now

butchers dreamt a death

eaten by a cow


bakers burnt the cakes

poets kissed the stars

venus sings – begin

jupiter & mars


hark, the howl of owls

& the scribbles pen

once upon a yarn

something happened then




















































flimflamdemia fatigue


flimflamdemia fatigue  (  eugitaf aimedmalfmilf  )


asses ‘n’ gasses ‘n’ muzzle the masses

sing in a spin of the onions in pickles

eagles in trusses & sheeple on busses

larks in the garden – a shit in the thistles

weasels deceiving as beetles are heaving

dung in a dungeon, the rubber of riddles

puppets in pockets & lizards in lockets

muppets are lapping the pap of the piffles

piss in the papers – the barrels, the scrapers

lions not liars – the pricks in the middles

tossers are turning, the blither is burning

earth in a flap with a touch of the sniffles

( oh no )




( author notes )

” worse things happen at sea, you know “

( eric idle )

































jammy dodgers snore


jammy dodgers snore  (  erons sergdod ymmaj  )



bats within the brain

boxing frogs & hare’s the air

wide awake again


rise & shite a light

river shine, the moon in bloom

sleepless is the night


piss another drink

satellites & candles bright

ink a kitchen sink


sail a lunar sea

bubbles fizz & scribbles fuzz

buzz a bumblebee


britain’s mitten glove

badgers, stars & handlebars

marmalade above


scale a hill – or tor

hark, a little owlets howls

jammy dodgers snore


dripping droplets sweat

dot the dots as foxes trot

like a sloth on ‘phet


rove until the spun

spirals spider spanner stuff

doze beyond the sun





































the song beyond

the song beyond  (  dnoyeb gnos eht  )


the song beyond is calling me

the sun, a hum – a bumblebee

a creaking door, the siren air

the gift of mist & bright’s the hare

a lark, a hark & sound around

the squelching belch of sodden ground

a river roars a choral flow

a spinning hymn – the roses glow

a scattering – a burst of bird

it’s lyrical – but not a word

the pageantry – the pipes of pan

as weasels pop the shite of man

& badgers dance a reelsome eight

the otter opera’s oscillate

the wave’s refrain is gravy trains

& floating notes in hazy brains

a knelling bell, a singing swan

the end’s a bend & springing on’s

the out again – the never’s death

the pounding rain, a hatchling’s breath

this music in the mutant glue

a sort of shrew within y’ shoe

a rising sky, a falling tree

the song beyond is calling me



( author notes )

apologies if you’re reading this poem

& there’s an advert about 2/3 of the way down

like what when i read it & that

breaking up the flow

but that said …

i don’t have any say over the ads

& make eff-all money off this site

( bar the odd book purchase that might come from a reader on here )

so blame automattic

the parent company of wordpress, tumblr, gravatar

& some other sinister minions

that’s they’re doing, not mine

( peace )