( ? )

another winterish acrostic

…



w elly weather then
westerly downfalls


i t’s muddy underfoot as
invaders cross the sea


n ot a bee bumbles
no rose other than


t he hellebore blooms
twilights haunt too soon


e verything is cobwebs
eggs in a casket


i dle as the catkins purr
in between warm fronts


s outh east sunrises
snoring dormice


h urry old codger
home before the puddles freeze

…

alt scribbles

…


henry the bloody eighth
will soon be henrietta

never underestimate
alt-historians

they’re proper gobby
like the climate changelings

in hi-vis orange
lost without a rhyme

as now is the sound
of the chatter on twatter

& dead sheeran lives
in this golden age of beige

but king charles is not my
elvis ruddy presley

& no flesh android voted
for sausage starmer’s rent boys

…

we four

…

we, the mutant few
genetic blips-r-us

the early birdsong
fortuna’s mood swings

& other such factors
beyond the machina

for this phantos
& their experiments

~

we, a windswept meadow
the autumn in retreat

a woodland hermitage
so muddy green trousers

growling back at clouds
& the normalz folk

in their sadness town
beyond that plod

~

we, the speaking bones
up shit creaking tones

but no paddle
all wax & no saddle

perhaps a missive stuck
a post-it-note memo

god save the parsnip
turnip lives matter

~

we, the letters writ
to messrs nobody

the footpath much less
trodden is the tonic

as the hedgehogs fly
at supersonic speed

& a tin with nothing in
is the musical glue

…

a mess in eleven

…

your pillow smells of cornflakes
the phone book’s in the fridge
the radio is only
the crackles in between
as your border collie purrs
on her kennel, on the roof
oh, some say that the proof
is in the stodgy afters – but
your crumble tastes of sunday
& at least your attic’s warm
& the bog flushes itself

…

enter december –

…


enter december –
unseasonably warm
between each polar vortex

enter december –
feasting on baked beans
& sausages for teatime

enter december –
may contain nuts
& hazardous packaging

enter december –
frosty cobwebs
on the footpath home

enter december –
crows caw in the dawn
your new ringtone

enter december –
smelling of z – list
celebrity fragrances

enter december –
having swam eleven lengths
& eaten their weetabix

enter december –
a photo of a solitary
swan on a calendar

enter december –
the undefeated sun
a greener in between

enter december –
& exit november
a ghostly bonfire

enter december –
sweaters & vests
& thermal underpants

…

instead of a poem

…

a cold rice pudding
fresh out the can
stodgy yet lost

& an icicle which since
melted in my hand
from last night’s frost

a sellotape roll
without a found end
so good luck with that then

an unwritten book
with white space within &
no isbn

the latest normie goss
about yours truly
none of which is true

five pence in change
two twos & a one
no receipt – now shoo

…

promo numpty

…

your advert goes here
the one about the holiday
in smug sunshine
or the latest wearable
that we’ll never wear – because
that’s n.p.c ‘reepy
or your miraculous pile cream
or chocolate flamethrower
whatever you wish
( dear mister e.washy )
to flog us all with next

…