adverts are dark witchcraft which tinkers with our minds they make us all buy tinsel & thick coats in july then take out goat insurance when we don't own goats adverts are dark witchcraft the magic of promote ( ! ) ...
Art
proper quiz-mad
daytime telly quiz shows you can play along at home just shout out the answers don't cheat - no mobile phones no internet no reference books them's the rules - that's the game but most importantly turn the telly on first or else you're proper quiz-mad insane ...
there’s a book in everyone
they say there's a book in everyone i wonder which book's in me ? hopefully it's one with plenty of pictures stolen from my local library spare us the x-ray - don't ruin these things preserve this mystery the satanic verses though that would keep me on my toes i wonder which book's in me ? ...
obligatory preamble
a wise man once said save the hodgepodge cerebral sheep graze bless the bodge job save the hedgehog lend us a fiver black holes are mysteries scrumpy my cider reality's oblong bring back echoes forget the bloody fire oh blow the bellows summer can do soup too bollocks in motion i hereby declare this fucking poem open ...
for absent poltergeists
in the absence of my poltergeist who used to keep me up with fright quite terrified since gone all shy i gave it a go haunt d.i.y so banged a wall then smashed a plate then had a nap a good 'un - great it's not the same i miss you now sweet poltergeist dear ghostly thou ... ( author nodes; this poem is also dedicated to yvette fielding ... )
sneezing is believing
yes sneezing is believing aye sneezing's real it's true i thought it was all a hoax-joke like blinking until one day - achoo ( ! ) ...
the village of keiths ( ! )
i live in a village where everyone's keith every man, woman & child is called keith keiths build-up like limescale but a secret i keep i'm the only non-keith so i lie ' hi, i'm keith ' ...
cotato parrot
in the lab i cross-bred a potato with a carrot is this a cotato or another form of parrot ? why it's 50 / 50 this much is clear to me but does world domination beckon ? ha ha, potentially ( ? ) ...
thistle season
come july it's spiky as the mind's slightly fizzled with a purposeful purple amid summer's coloured riddles an 'erb & a flower tell a friend - blow a whistle they're nutty on the inside 'tis the time of thistle ...
during the war
during the war when there was a war on all poems were rationed to 2 words or less including the title 'cause there was a war on so we all ate crumble those days were the best ...
resarf poetry 