Well, the childhood years of a young Adolf Hitler were sadly somewhat ruined by asassins armed with lasers. Petite do-gooders from our P.C future, not them computers but with futuristic shooters, how he still survived can only amaze us. Incredible ... (Author Notes: just sumit daft i wrote....)
Poem
branch out
Branch out like a tree -Obviously, or a bank full of bodies after a robbery went horribly. Branch out ...
electric fence therapy
Beyond the
penultimate
stile
of m’ walk
there stood
an electric
fence,
which I decided
to try
& its voltage
imbibe
on the off-chance
it charged me
with sense
…
& erased
all the shite
so I gripped it
so tight
-Then came shock
‘AAAH y’ cock’
Ergo thence,
reflex robbed me
of grip
plus current
gave me
the slip,
as local livestock
laughed
at my expense
…
(try again)
september, day 1
Stone the crows & sparrows!
It’s that September now,
& with a distinct lack of fondness
I clearly remember how
…
It robs us all of Summer
as a sly-fingered bugger,
beware the repeat offender
September is a member
…
10 books to write
1. Starting Stuff For The First Time (a beginners guide) 2. The Dairy of Samuel Pepys 3. 1,578 THINGS TO DO WITH AN EGG TIMER 4. Skim Reading (at a glance) 5. The Bumper Book of Artichoke Jokes 6. Spooky Ghost-Owl Tales of Great Bittern 7. Buddha, The Boyband Years... 8. The Pop-Up Book of Saucy Welding Anecdotes (comes with free safety visor & gloves) 9. War & Peas & 10. The Incomplete Encyclopedia of EVERYTHING
a good game for a saturday
Let’s toss a coin then
to finally decide,
tails you live life
heads you die
…
Tails you run free
& forget all this,
ooh, without cheating
heads it is
…
Sorry x
rocking chairs for courses
Well,
rocking chairs
for courses
endorses
odd forces,
which unravel
smockravelled
like most abstract
golf courses
…
Furthermore,
they wobble
& are moon-inclined
to waddle,
plus pretend
they’re part-stoat
& lob cobwebs
at ghosts,
but occasionally
it’s just wankish
twaddle
…
That’s the trouble.
tosh off
Contrary
to unpopular belief
fuelled by graffiti
& general deceit,
none of the following
was written in a cable car
…
Or a hovercraft
for that matter,
down a haunted lead mine shaft
or half way up a ladder
with a mild breeze
…
No,
not a single sausage, please,
& naught was conceived
via mad cow disease
-Udder nonsense
…
foul-mouthed interval
Ad interim
which sounds ruder
than it actually is,
idiot est
meantime,
which is quality
with hints
of bee-line
…
For the duration
which on the sly
shunts on stagnation,
so ergo
electricity
& yet inexplicably
shit-explicitly
(!)
…
For fuck’s sake
….
how to add heaven to the long list of places that you’re barred from…
Naturally
I sold my soul
to that bastard,
poetry,
at the somewhat
haggled price
of a measly
50p
…
I started off
at a quid like
but the cheeky
little wanker
wouldn’t budge,
& now I’m surely
hell bound,
but this is
what I wanted,
so please
don’t judge
…
resarf poetry 