Cars often pull over & ask me for directions for example 'Where's Gibblet's Lane?' & if I know I'll answer their question, to aid them on their procession out of the kindness of my heart -It's no strain or pain. However, if I haven't got a clue e.g 'Where's Garroter's Avenue?' I'll just make something up all the same. On the off-chance that I'm right, as you clever ever know it might, & either way I'll probably never see them again ...
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still mainly green
It's still mainly green here, like the contact-less eyes of a jealous monster. & the sky is mainly blue too, like a depressed & filthy joke, yet still 1 ponders how much longer ?
a stupid cult
Several cotton buds in & the wax & gristle was utterly erstwhile but what to do with the rest ? Why, simply worship them of course as small cotton GOD TYPES of sorts, in a shit-big evil temple -That sounds best ...
hitler’s youth
Well, the childhood years of a young Adolf Hitler were sadly somewhat ruined by asassins armed with lasers. Petite do-gooders from our P.C future, not them computers but with futuristic shooters, how he still survived can only amaze us. Incredible ... (Author Notes: just sumit daft i wrote....)
electric fence therapy
Beyond the
penultimate
stile
of m’ walk
there stood
an electric
fence,
which I decided
to try
& its voltage
imbibe
on the off-chance
it charged me
with sense
…
& erased
all the shite
so I gripped it
so tight
-Then came shock
‘AAAH y’ cock’
Ergo thence,
reflex robbed me
of grip
plus current
gave me
the slip,
as local livestock
laughed
at my expense
…
(try again)
the doom’s day off
Today no dark shadow loomed & there wasn't even the slightest trace of gloom, Venice stopped bricking it in regards to the ice caps, today was a day-off for Doom. So the world breathed a sigh of relief & Pam Ayers ceased to worry about her teeth, meanwhile Doom pottered & rearranged some stray rubble, as nothing sinister bubbled underneath ...
september, day 1
Stone the crows & sparrows!
It’s that September now,
& with a distinct lack of fondness
I clearly remember how
…
It robs us all of Summer
as a sly-fingered bugger,
beware the repeat offender
September is a member
…
10 books to write
1. Starting Stuff For The First Time (a beginners guide) 2. The Dairy of Samuel Pepys 3. 1,578 THINGS TO DO WITH AN EGG TIMER 4. Skim Reading (at a glance) 5. The Bumper Book of Artichoke Jokes 6. Spooky Ghost-Owl Tales of Great Bittern 7. Buddha, The Boyband Years... 8. The Pop-Up Book of Saucy Welding Anecdotes (comes with free safety visor & gloves) 9. War & Peas & 10. The Incomplete Encyclopedia of EVERYTHING
a good game for a saturday
Let’s toss a coin then
to finally decide,
tails you live life
heads you die
…
Tails you run free
& forget all this,
ooh, without cheating
heads it is
…
Sorry x
tosh off
Contrary
to unpopular belief
fuelled by graffiti
& general deceit,
none of the following
was written in a cable car
…
Or a hovercraft
for that matter,
down a haunted lead mine shaft
or half way up a ladder
with a mild breeze
…
No,
not a single sausage, please,
& naught was conceived
via mad cow disease
-Udder nonsense
…