the twelve daze of easter

~

the twelve daze of easter ( retsae fo ezad evlewt eht )

…

twelve rabbits at it

crackles in the attic

eleven morris dancers

actual bell ends

ten wrens a’nesting

in a letterbox

nine pheasants strutting

underneath the catkins

eight maids a’milfing

time is speeding up

seven tulips crooning

handel & jerusalem

six snarks a’ larking

where the air is pot pourri

five creme eggs

it’s a chocolate lottery

four orbs soar

as the scarecrows see

three badgers dance

on a moonlit lea

two hot cross buns

plus a game of noughts & crosses

& starship from atlantis

in a pickled pear tree

…

pea estuary

~

pea estuary ( yautse aep )

…

i thought i heard a curlew
& then the heavens opened

letters in the post
missives from the messrs

soon is cheesy beans
& lemon fool for pudding

off before it’s on
once upon a turnip

so the weather spins
on an antiquated shilling

see the evening primrose
weeping of morn’

she’s crossing ‘neath the junction
but still the cunts turn in

don’t these gobshites know
the highway fucking code?
‘
a crocus on your pillow
a sweaty yeti drips

the gravy train is late
the bus is on sabbatical

i’ll wait until the hedgehogs
fly like buttered wings

clarinets & catkins
corncrakes & cornflakes

…

( author notes )

based on a moan
& some random lines i wrote

pardon my language
but pedestrians have right of way

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/the-highway-code-8-changes-you-need-to-know-from-29-january-2022

most cars ignore this
i’ve nearly been mowed over twice
in the last month
& once was by an interlfora van
( name ’em & shame ’em )

p.s

i’m not the she crossing
& i wasn’t thinking of the lady
in the gov.co.uk photo either
as she’s everyone that’s had a brush
with the reaper recently
or something

p.p.s

the picture’s an old list i found
of a wander in a field
– author unknown –

( ? )

…

once more with fooling

~

once more with fooling ( gniloof htiw erom ecno )

…

bonce upon a planet egg
nought’s a start – the starlings say

when the zen’s a rubber hen
& the flaming sun is grey

giz a kiss, the finches sing
scribble in a squirrel’s drey

languages in sandwiches
posting on the ess in ay

tripping on banana skins
bee the bumble’s bobbing sleigh

blossom snows, a bottom blows
parping parsnips, copses sway

bollocks is a friend of mine
horses moo ‘n’ bullocks neigh

pickled pepper parallax
captain cabbage cabaret

galaxies in cans of peas
spot the flocks of shepherds stray

life is butter pantomime
spread the bread upon this day

normalzzz is a willing host
as the monkish mantis pray

let the jesters pester you
’til the noon ‘n’ run away

…

proper gander walrus

~

proper gander walrus ( surlaw rednag reporp )

…

gutted after narnia

invaded ruritania

      all fawns are scum now

      & aslan is cancelled

cake sales soar

sows fly again

      as the badgers dance

      in antacid rain

right on cuneiform

flags become masks

      – or masks become flags

      ( merging like a slip road )

sloping with the scales

on the serpentine tales

      of the snooze of either sideways

      – true soothsayers

with a rowan nose

smell the dealt of all

      everyone’s forever

      see the pants in pantomimes

ants in a trance

spot the dashing dots

      blue & yellow bots

      them of banging pots

drink from the hose

on the vicar’s front garden

      gargle in reverse

      so a signet sings

be a song beyond

the feature length finale

      cut – that’s a wrap

      darling, you were wonderful

…