List of Demands

1.

I want to be ambiguous

like Julius Caesar

playing Monopoly

with an octopus

on a Berocca comedown

– but that’s ridiculous.

2.

I want to write free verse

but all too often it evades me,

oh well – it’s not a poem unless it rhymes

& at least then I’m not that lazy.

& 3.

I want apathy

but any time’s fine with me.

All that stuff...

Pathos

Pathos
I stay there once,
'shouldn't have gone in July
it was too hot.

The wise old chorus 
they tried to warn me:
'Don't go outside
without you factor 43'
But in an act of hubris essential 
to any tragedy,
I ignored them
& now oh the pain
& oh the agony...

Where’s Jesus?

A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door
I know it's immature
but Phuket
I had to ask
'Call y'sen a Jehovah's Witness do you eh pal,
go on then, spill them beans
where's d'you see 'im last?'

(well)

'Last seen go karting
just outside Barking,
via Sainsburys
where he bought a bottle of water & some cheese'
(cheese & wine - classic combo)

'We've since had reports
of an unconfirmed sighting,
that he's dangling his legs
off Frogget Edge
which is fairly plausible
cos he's dead keen on hiking'

'It's yet to be validated
but don't worry - we'll keep you informed,
cos you can always rely on your local Jehovah's witness
to tell you what's what
from the happy-to-be-disturbed comfort
of your own front door'

What a lovely bunch...