contemporary poetry
a u g u s t
~
a u g u s t ( t s u g u a )
…
a pples tumble down
another summer stumbles
ants soar above us
u nder shrouds of cloud
ushering a hawthorn hue
unicorns weeping
g reen is greengages
gourdish hordes of cucumbers
grass is golden bales
u mber is the sun
until september nestles
upon these thistles
s he will sneeze again
swooping on the prickled fools
soothsayers say so
t oads rain by teatime
tomorrow pokes a wasp hive
tossers scribble on
…
rings
~
rings ( sgnir )
…
rubber engagements
bells knell so up anuses
rectal telephones
…
oh, what the folk?
~
oh, what the folk? ( ?klof eht tahw ,ho )
…
strumming the death of a legend
humming the rub of a bee
swigging a flagon of bitter
dumming the diddle in dee
roving the inns & the taverns
sleeping in stables & barns
hay in a feeder f’ breakfast
gold as the y’old in y’ yarns
rhyming the life of a wrong’un
lovers in peril & doom
farmers in lieu of a harvest
misery, merriment, gloom
jiggle the gist of a riddle
stroking the goat of a chin
stringing a cat with a fiddle
never ‘pon the violin
dressed as the ghost of a ploughman
bother the north & the south
prancing the pastures of midlands
straw in the side of y’ mouth
mincing along as a minstrel
under a trad-anon sun
scratching the balls of a ballad
oh, what the folk have y’ done?
…
stat shat
~
stat shat ( tahs tats )
…
twelve percent of hedgehogs
sleep beneath a garden shed
if six of seven seventeenths
splatter on a scatter graph
three percent of poets
wash behind both ears
one in two bootstraps
is secretly a shoelace
here be the p-value
chasing ratios
forty two in eighty eight
fat ladies sing
with the swans on the pond
parametrically
yet – sixty three medians
for every pickled egghead
pairing with a variable
divided by five
plus the sum of odds ‘n’ sods
as a fraction in disguise
as per neil ferguson
the man who’s never right
times nine variant
null hypotheses
minus two cockatoos
– who ate all the pie charts?
so nought percent of statisticians
can wipe their own arse
…
shrew, shrews & yet more shrews
~
shrews, shrews & yet more shrews ( swerhs erom tey & swerhs ,swerhs )
…
unloosen the shrews
shrews your weapon wisely
all shrew need is love
& walk a mile a mile in my shrews
shrew around this town
how do you shrew?
twisting like a shrew cap
make the headline shrews
’til it’s yesterday’s shrews
be the bearer of bad shrews
try not to shrew up
shining my new pair of shrews
tightening the shrews
between me & shrew
the devil & the deep shrew sea
we’ll be seeing shrew
…
a spiky sight
~
a spiky sight ( thgis ykips a
…
see the giant cotton buds
spotted like measles
on the grasses, greening so
in amongst weasels
adders circle underfoot
feast upon beetles
lo, upon the yonder’s rise
climbing like steeples
bristled as a paddle brush
prickled like needles
of a morning’s wander on
oh, it’s those teasels
…
( puntitled )
~
( puntitled ) ( deltitnup )
…
spin between daydreams
hazy is my middle name
up before the cockerel spurts
comatosed purple prose
rove along hedge’s rows
clover cloaks this interlude
pencil in a definite
lest the owls forget
few is farther than between
far is pickled in a jar
is the moon a mutant sun?
heck the how are you?
mistress of the mizzle’s mirth
murmurs stir this steaming mug
see the evening primrose doze
when the dawn’s a fawn
all is or – or mugwort
moxibustion offerings
once upon a wonky song
falling off your rocking horse
rising like a treecreeper
wake the dead with leavened bread
keys tambourine
in my anorak pockets
…
count to ten
~
count to ten ( net ot tnuoc )
…
one – dracula
two – orlok
three – dooku
four – duckula
five – dankula
six – binface
seven – vronsky
eight – basie
nine – ‘of monte christo
& ten – ‘down
…
splodge it & scarper
~
splodge it & scarper ( repracs & ti egdolps )
…
pluck a plum as if a lute
topple not saturnal crowns
flap away the fruits of may
blather nuts & gather nouns
up before a fall asleep
scrawling like a spider scribe
thinking like a kitchen sieve
live ‘n’ letters diatribe
when the hen’s a pecking pen
& the goblins gobble grapes
she’s a lizard lottery
mistress of the apes ‘n’ scrapes
i, the spillage idiom
riddle eight a choral clue
like a leaping salmon flies
brief is butter finger too
spilling bags of magic beans
dancing ants in pantomimes
turning topsy terpsichore
tossing ’til the wanker rhymes
see a sea of seven stars
strut a pheasant’s rusted gait
then the garden gargles green
giz a wave – & oscillate
…