Art

bonfire nightmare

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bonfire nightmare ( eramthgin erifnob )

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black magic thunder

      shades of the somme

blitz with aplomb

      & the band slayed on

bang, bang, boom

      clangs the clamour & the doom

louder than a thousand

      brian bloody blesseds

sounding it off

      with a million ian paisleys

roman candles pop

      so the crackles snap

jumping jacks reel

      catherine’s in her wheel

sparklers in the garden

      bonfire night

normalzzz umm ‘n’ arrh

      hypnotised by shite

toffee apple twats

      gasp in wanker bobble hats

we’re indoors

      hiding from the wars

shell shocked dog

      cat in a flap

more tea, vicar?

      mister molotov?

penny for the guy?

      here’s a fiver – fuck off

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head over heliotropes

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head over heliotropes ( seportoileh revo daeh )

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beginning in the midlands

the sun behind your eyes

      a stick in the muddle

      a bubble teapot

a pebble in my pocket

speckled like a frog

      in the throat of a stoat

      & another morning floats

as the catkins nap

listen, siskins sing

      the present is a pheasant

      croaking like a toad

the past is pickled onions

& mint choc chip

      mind the bloody gap

      & the jibber-jabber’s trap

the future is a boot

a flutter & a flute

      fly through the shite

      of a deep blue night

reel as a wheel

then the milky way is silky

      the rest is reverie

      & everyone ate cornflakes

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gnomevember

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gnomevember ( rebmevemong )

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shave in early august
& wait three months

’til a beard appears
like your jesus in al-qaeda

shrink like a doctor
by at least five feet

wear a pointy hat
toil the autumn soil

shapes within the air
shifting like a cryptid

bulbs beneath the bleak
guard the sleeping garden

speak an elfin tongue
with a pygmy-pixie accent

smoke a giant pipe
toking like a pope

ruddy up your face
with rosy red blusher

spot the falling leaves
see the decomposure

fish beside the pond
’til the water freezes over

dance until december
have a happy gnomevember

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blurb song

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blurb song ( gnos brulb )

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roadworks ahead

red means go

      grow your own poems

      in a bum notebook

may contain nutter

keep two metres

      like a good little gimp

      use by last tuesday

sew facing south

with a pebble in your mouth

      this way uppercut

      crossed parry fingers

shake like a sheikh

on a bumpy camel ride

      defrost thoroughly

      & dance like a pixie

singing in the spring

in e-flat minor

      gargle in the garden

      as the crowbar flies

soak both ends

in lukewarm thistle milk

      every other sunday

      is a monday in disguise

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monks ‘n’ monkey me

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monks ‘n’ monkey me ( em yeknom ‘n’ skom )

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silence is alive
shiver in this shibboleth
in between the breaths of death
like the i in we

weaving in the mist
downing tins of bouncing beans
singing songs of headless queens
smoking sesame

dancing with the ants
pantomimes in pantaloons
as a rabid badger croons
pissing up a tree

so beneath the moon
see the beams of lucifer
tickle uncle jupiter
morning is a key

’til the sun’s a star
when the lark’s a garden gnome
if the wind’s a metronome
seek the green of lea

hens as pecking pens
marching as a tiger barks
pencil sharpeners, sharks ‘n’ snarks
monks ‘n’ monkey me

catch a catkin’s nap
ink to timbuktu or france
prancing with a spastic stance
scribble on & see

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( alternative names for winter )

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( alternative names for winter ) ( retniw rof senam evitanretla )

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moss greening season

lichen’s lantern light

catkin naptime

snow’s intermission

the mistletoe months

frost’s interregnum

hot chocolate’s calling

the doldrum’s rectum

spring’s bleak prequel

haunted autumn’s sequel

the bleak mid-wither

summer’s evil twin

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