the gist of things

Twas a stormless night

when the incident with the euphonium

low cloud yet quitish bright

triggered pandemonium. 





The chickens they ran amok

as the church bells sang of the end of the of days

the vicar was touched by a form of shock

like headless poultry - mad cluckers all crazed.





& then it almost rained frogs

as the cries of terror-shit topped  deafening

plus miaows from confused dogs

almost but definitely threatening. 





& so without further ado-ACHOO

in the absence of thunder claps or any last requests

bless you - yes I have the sniffles too

hereby thence sentence you to death

...












some stuff about the other bit



Snails race

at great pace

practically supersonic

like an Otter

on Berrocca

or Billy Whizz

but actually on it.





Also rivers flow backwards

Bats speak Flemish

Bears shun

all porridge

Blackbirds sleep

it's that half hour of the week

& annoyingly some trees they

fall in forests.





Plus the Gnomes

they compose

Gnome-Poetry

crude garden-based cantons

& Magical stanzas

when unseen - so free

of man

- no peeping

& NO hidden cameras

...






pass it all on…

 Nan used to tell me old Folk Tales

& never-ever-ever-ever

eat your own toenails 

only other peoples'

that internet is evil

the Hun don't like it up 'em

& next door are in league with weasels.





Plus it's only witches

that get chickenpox 

twice

butterflies are too nice

always neat - no ice

& sometimes wolves

are sheep in disguise

never double-cross a morris dancer

- yes, she was wise

...









hobbyist apocalypse

 

  • The Campanologists decided
  • to end with a clang
    
    defy the essence of time
    
    in chimey unison rang.
    
    
    
    
    
    The Philatelists pored & ogled through
    
    their Stanley Gibbons books
    
    whilst licking the front of their favourites
    
    & shedding tears - with final goodbye looks.
    
    
    
    
    
    The Ikebanists they seemed to
    
    at last lose their powers
    
    so now devoid of their Dark-Witchcraft
    
    unarranged lovely flowers.
    
    
    
    
    
    Plus the poet-lot simply wrote on
    
    as all shit crumbled & evil winds blew
    
    oceans drowned & mountain ranges tumbled
    
    but their stray words dreamed
    
    of dawns anew
    
    ...