Bollocks

under tarpaulin

I woke up this mornin'
under a sheet of tarpaulin,
I forged a small air hole above m' head
& then I went back to bed.

Cuh!
Who needs ditches nowadays eh?
'Drainage'
'Drainage'
I hear you say.

'Drainage'
'Drainage'
& you're probably right,
for February 'tis known 
as the month of fill-dyke
- no chucklin' in the corners please
I know what you're like.

'Drainage'

...

musings on teeth & bees


People with no teeth
& no false teeth
trying to speak
are always a right bastard to understand.



It's a bit like if we zapped bees
& made them human size
with human brains like we
because bees don't have teeth
not like us but
they could buzz intelligently
plus with 6 limbs
they could easily wave semaphore.



I would pay too much money to see that.



Shit loads & that
...

a wonky smudge & a head stuffed with dust

A wonky smudge
come sun or sodden trudge,
we're off-plumb on purpose
judge not lest ye be fudge.


& a head stuffed with dust
in the land of things & fluff,
slow worms are in fact limbless lizards
in odd we trust & it's never enough.


(so)


Uninsert the time & date
& stay unperturbed of rhymes & wraiths,
as all of these tea cups are storm proof as standard
but our rust contains traces of gate...

Pigs

  • This little piggy went to market,
this little piggy stayed at home,
this little piggy 
looked a little looked a little bit like Stephen Gately
so he replaced him
as the 5th member
of Boyzone
(on their reunion tour
run for the moors...)

This little piggy swam with dolphins
& narwhals (both species)
& rode on the back of a giraffe,
this little piggy went back in time
with a joke
& cheered up Sylvia Plath
(briefly)

& this little Piggy moved to Bradford
& got a job working in his local Costco,
he was doing alright for himself
until he bumped into his local serial killer
& then he got done in by a crossbow...

(The End)
  • https://soundcloud.com/merlin-ii/pigs