( ? )

ghost list

~

ghost list ( tsil tsohg )

…

the ghoul schoolmistress

the phantom philatelist

the basket weaving wraith

dancing forms & shapes

a silent poltergeist

with wicked body odour

the mist within your shadow

the ever floating torso

of a cauliflower farmer

ripped apart by foxes

in nineteen ninety five

midas – my goldfish

who drowned last march

a screeching barn owl’s skull

shuck, the black lab

dracula – of course

if non-corporeal

headless horseman

( plus horse )

…

( alternative names for winter )

~

( alternative names for winter ) ( retniw rof senam evitanretla )

…

moss greening season

lichen’s lantern light

catkin naptime

snow’s intermission

the mistletoe months

frost’s interregnum

hot chocolate’s calling

the doldrum’s rectum

spring’s bleak prequel

haunted autumn’s sequel

the bleak mid-wither

summer’s evil twin

…

barking stuff

~

barking stuff ( ffuts gnikrab )

…

barking in a wood
the bark of a postage stamp
but the bark stops here

bark where i belong
eyes in the bark of my head
all the way bark home

& barking the trend
feel like a million barks
scratching my bark side

bark against the wall
it’s water off a duck’s bark
the bark of beyond

we’re in the bark yard
like johann sebastian
yeah, bark to square one

bark in the saddle
with a monkey on your bark
barking both horses

…

jesus christ’s shopping list

~

…

vaseline

hot cross buns

bicycle clips

fruit ‘n’ fibre

almond milk

christmas cake

wedding rings

water skis

underwear

frankincense

shell suit

shake ‘n’ vac

smelly myrrh

the golden bough

trouser press

rubber johnnies

sugar cubes

blue beam me

easter eggs

sandal polish

perrier

( / champagne )

gardening gloves

& a tardis

…

musings on crab apples & crabs

~

…

no, they’re not like fleas
or their itchy namesake

so we catch them from trees
not hot tubs in nunneries

or a sauna packed with tramps
or from sniffing sailor’s pants

they don’t grow in the sea
or fall horizontally

apparently they’re apples
but they’re jellified – not pied

or crumbled like a bramley
with blackberries & custard

the mustard cuts with this
the rest is paper thin

with a sparkle in their heart
& a star beneath their skin

…

the stirring brrr

…

the game’s afoot – the foot’s a plot
the ‘rona crossed with mutant flus
a seven hundredth booster shot

the wank is back, the tosser’s spin
the shining shite upon the snooze
is beaming like a goblin’s grin

the even’ creeps, the morning rains
& all is balls ‘n’ cockatoos
escape the the chains of normalzzz brains

upon a wander in a wood
a traipse in tartan painted trews
a bobble hat beneath a hood

a skein is seen – a passing vee
is honking as the green adieus
the swearing air is victory

& bugger off ’til catkins purr
a farting partridge parps the blues
until’s a chill, the stirring brrr

is rising as a sliding scale
the letters bee in avenues
the end’s a bend & time’s a snail

a scatter graph, a spool of smoke
the numbers scrunch in twisted shrews
a stool of toads ’til crocus croak

…