an ombudsman is born

an ombudsman is born ( s o m e n o n s e n s e )

…




as baking beans beat tambourines

& welders wave at gravy trains

that bustle passed at savoury speeds

& badgers shave on grassy plains


as hittites plod on woodland paths

& carrots dance under some trance

whilst numbers crunch in charts 'n' graphs

& poltergeists adjust their pants


as dogs in clogs think thoughts out loud

& statues scratch a toe ( or two )

plus rabid bats they bite low cloud

& pebbles hide in lonely shoes


a town crier retrieves his tongue

then bell-yells on this speckled morn

good news to yous - songs shall be sung

rejoice

an ombudsman is born

...

a poem on an envelope

the lost art of where’s it gone ( ? )

the lost art of where’s it gone ( ? ) ( a ? )

…




the lost art of

where's it gone ( ? )

is still missing

aargh, hang on

...

there’s a little yeti …

there’s a little yeti … ( a p o e t r y )

…




there's a little yeti

there behind the settee

in that cold spot

where the sun's never shone


trek there at your peril

he's a little devil

( & )

there's a little nessy

lurking in the garden pond

...

elbow wars

elbow wars ( a ? )

…



my elbow

the right one

it threatens

to harm me


i'll batter

you senseless

( yeah, you &

who's army? )

...

sheep breed wallchart

sheep breed wallchart ( a t r u e t a l e o f t r u e )

…




sheep breed wallchart

on the kitchen wall

over time i've

slowly learned 'em all


sheep breed wallchart

oh how do ewe do?

rams, lambs, tegs - yes

flockin' cool are you


sheep chic top sheet

nice one, that's my style

sheep breeds of the

( quite ) great british isles


sheep breed wallchart

rockin' in me home

my favourite's the

derbyshire gritstone

...

your early work

your early work ( a p o e m )

…



oh once upon a once upon

before squirrels went grey

you scribbled like an imp possessed

& ripples became waves


some sorts adore your recent dross

its glib modernity

deft, delicate yet puzzling

but that shit's lost on me


yes i prefer your early work

from younger, former days

before you were a wrong'un tit

a tosser & a knave


before you turned to cardigans

& drank peppermint tea

when crayons scrawled on y'old cave walls

your finest

 poetry

...

the scum on the news

the scum on the news ( a p o e m )

…




i curse then worse

the scum on the news

why stop at tuts

or pantomime boos ( ? )


all of the scum

coz scum run the news

they lie - 'tis true

with their scummy spew


it's scum o'clock

so on goes the news

piss politics

& shat ballyhoo


then terrorists

scare children on cue

the show goes on

& now

back to you

( x )

...

mumbling stomachs

mumbling stomachs ( a n o t h e r e f f o r t ( i s h ) )

…




mumbling stomachs with blithering fingers

erratic eyebrows

here's one for the thinkers


codes on those elbows - they're mish-mashed in tangles

clues on yon kneecaps

( hopefully ) plus ankles


adverbs in armpits are subtly stinking

eyelashes curse all

there's blinkin' 'n' blinkin'


dictionaries can't scratch mere surface lest manage

poetry clashes

with this body language

...

on the detour to damascus

on the detour to damascus ( a l i t t l e s t o r y )

…




on the detour to damascus

twelve miles or so from neath

god came - hooray

you changed your name

from gavin to keith

( & then back to gavin )

...

resarf poetry

( ? )

Poems