…
oh, hemorrhoid cream
when he’s just sixteen
autobiographies
written in their twenties
the mayfly that died
one sad day in april
christmas cards in june
it’s all too rather soon
…
…
oh, hemorrhoid cream
when he’s just sixteen
autobiographies
written in their twenties
the mayfly that died
one sad day in april
christmas cards in june
it’s all too rather soon
…
…
u sually green pine trees
umber shades of rust
n umpties on the bbc
nuns in nunneries
s eagulls when the farmer ploughs
socks before each shoe
u mbrella if the rain appears
unicorns with horns
r otten apples & wasps
roses blah thorns
p lastic people on t.v
police dance the conga
r ight on cue like snooker
rotations on this cosmic egg
i cing on a bun
illium is sacked again
s quirrels in the park
sport distracts big kids
i ncase of sun – sunglasses
itches for each scratch
n ormies storm the pop charts
nob’ead narc’ influencers
g loves because the frost
gladder when pastoral
…
…
a chicken that quacks
like a mallard up river
& a five pound discount voucher
for those already ripped off
no more limescale
slightly less wars
a christmas in spring
& easter on halloween
a.i jesus archetypes
curing bots ‘n’ what not’s
twenty more genders
& a duck that clucks
is all the big mob
with the big gob wish
so give the hungry crowd
what the famished folk want
…
…
a nswers arrived on postcards
apples fell on you
l etters never sent still came
line dancers went full circle
t he garden centre flourished
toadstools croaked
h illtop views subdued us all
harold burnt the hot cross buns
o pen sandwiches saved the day
offa renamed his p.c ditch
u kelelists struck a chord
unicyclists graduated
g olden pheasants shone
gnomes scratched noses
h ippos fled the mud bath
hellcats went to heaven
…
…
i identify
as a magpie
i identify
as a cheese & pickle sandwich
i identify
as the battle of trafalgar
i identify
as a can of rice pudding
i identify
as a muggy sunday evening
i identify
as an iron age hillfort
i identify
as a monkey puzzle tree
i identify
yes – me, me, me
…
…
let there be ball lightning
phantasmic plasma
with a psyche of its own
– perhaps a cosmic fart?
or toads inside stones
croaking not croaked it
a showering of frogs
a light drizzle of newts
a cryptid in each
lake or quite large puddle
a double decker bus found
within a martian crater
a poundland discovered
underneath a megalith
from neolithic though
& so you scramble eggheads
dodos re-emerging in
sleepless suburbia
the puzzling is this
blizzards in mid-july
& still no solid reason why
so keep ’em all guessing
…
…
the occasional tables
were mostly chairs that day
the sun dried tomatoes
were eaten overnight
the winter wren sang
of a southern hemisphere
the peanut butter warned us
‘may contain nuts’
mister holmes was constipated
all the green bananas
breathed with their gills
& feathered quills flew
with the dusters in a circle
over puzzled heads
when the scarecrows frightened
themselves in the mirror
…
…
on the other side
of the hill that
r o l l s
like a granary bap
or a wholemeal
b l o o m e r
is another valley’s green
a new dream
t i c k e t
the odd smallholding
gritstone
b r i c k e d
but mostly more fields
& the drystone
w a l l s
the scattered woodland copses
where pheasants strut their
s t u f f
as the ewes baa back
at the oak tree’s
b a r k
& starlit badgers wonder what
life is like for us
b u m p k i n s
…
…
backwards barks again
a backdoor key
cartoon rudiments
cloven hoofed clover
a zoomorphic moon
with rain in between
an ache in my right leg
a lake in your left eye
the day became frogs
human cattle banging pots
remember the moos
& the chalkboards thank yous
& irk the normalz off
of a formless morning
on is reverse
we the scattered ash
& quercus quilled ink
still the unbecome
melted into fundaments
rearranged yesterday
grew a green tomorrow
ate baked magic
beans on toast for tea
with grated cheese on top
…
…
i’m strangely drawn in
like a cartoon you – but some
may say – that’s art, maaan
…