photography

stat shat

~

stat shat ( tahs tats )

…

twelve percent of hedgehogs

sleep beneath a garden shed

if six of seven seventeenths

splatter on a scatter graph

three percent of poets

wash behind both ears

one in two bootstraps

is secretly a shoelace

here be the p-value

chasing ratios

forty two in eighty eight

fat ladies sing

with the swans on the pond

parametrically

yet – sixty three medians

for every pickled egghead

pairing with a variable

divided by five

plus the sum of odds ‘n’ sods

as a fraction in disguise

as per neil ferguson

the man who’s never right

times nine variant

null hypotheses

minus two cockatoos

– who ate all the pie charts?

so nought percent of statisticians

can wipe their own arse

…

shrew, shrews & yet more shrews

~

shrews, shrews & yet more shrews ( swerhs erom tey & swerhs ,swerhs )

…

unloosen the shrews

shrews your weapon wisely

all shrew need is love

& walk a mile a mile in my shrews

shrew around this town

how do you shrew?

twisting like a shrew cap

make the headline shrews

’til it’s yesterday’s shrews

be the bearer of bad shrews

try not to shrew up

shining my new pair of shrews

tightening the shrews

between me & shrew

the devil & the deep shrew sea

we’ll be seeing shrew

…

a spiky sight

~

a spiky sight ( thgis ykips a

…

see the giant cotton buds

spotted like measles

on the grasses, greening so

in amongst weasels

adders circle underfoot

feast upon beetles

lo, upon the yonder’s rise

climbing like steeples

bristled as a paddle brush

prickled like needles

of a morning’s wander on

oh, it’s those teasels

…

( puntitled )

~

( puntitled ) ( deltitnup )

…


spin between daydreams
hazy is my middle name
      up before the cockerel spurts
      comatosed purple prose

rove along hedge’s rows
clover cloaks this interlude
      pencil in a definite
      lest the owls forget

few is farther than between
far is pickled in a jar
      is the moon a mutant sun?
      heck the how are you?

mistress of the mizzle’s mirth
murmurs stir this steaming mug
      see the evening primrose doze
      when the dawn’s a fawn

all is or – or mugwort
moxibustion offerings
      once upon a wonky song
      falling off your rocking horse

rising like a treecreeper
wake the dead with leavened bread
      keys tambourine
      in my anorak pockets
…

splodge it & scarper

~

splodge it & scarper ( repracs & ti egdolps )

…

pluck a plum as if a lute
topple not saturnal crowns
flap away the fruits of may
blather nuts & gather nouns

up before a fall asleep
scrawling like a spider scribe
thinking like a kitchen sieve
live ‘n’ letters diatribe

when the hen’s a pecking pen
& the goblins gobble grapes
she’s a lizard lottery
mistress of the apes ‘n’ scrapes

i, the spillage idiom
riddle eight a choral clue
like a leaping salmon flies
brief is butter finger too

spilling bags of magic beans
dancing ants in pantomimes
turning topsy terpsichore
tossing ’til the wanker rhymes

see a sea of seven stars
strut a pheasant’s rusted gait
then the garden gargles green
giz a wave – & oscillate
…

h a i k u s

~

h a i k u s ( s u k i a h )

…


h awthorn hornets horn

helicopter happenstance

horus’s horseshoes

a niseed axis

apocalyptic anus

apple avenues

i bex icicles

iridescent incubi

in between igloos

k ittiwakes kissing

kaleidoscopic karma

kangaroos kayak

u nsung unicorns

uzbekistani uncles

ultraviolet urns

s auropod songbook

semolina semaphore

sonic saucisson

…

microdosing not dossing

~

microdosing not dossing ( gnissod ton gnisodorcim )

…

woodland wanderings

sucking on a murray mint

      or a lemon sherbert

      ’til the temptress tingles

two spoons of sugar

in a milky mug of tea

      a whiff of hibiscus

      the brush of a nettle

dustings of doc leaves

& whispering codes

      licking the backs

      of natterjack toads

the crystalline grains

of the seven seas’ salt

      the upturned tip

      of attis’ cap

tipex flashback’s

from the clearasil years’

      swigs from a flagon

      of fizzing ginger beer

little sips of calpol

drips of acid rain

      dancing on the tongue

      as we face the day’s dung

…