…

my baby left me
for an untuned steinway
with no middle c
so now i’m a’drinking
lukewarm horlicks
in this ghostly bungalow
& feeling like the headless
corpse of charles gordon

my sweetheart ran away
with the milkman’s long lost uncle’s
cousin’s best friend’s
labradoodle groomer’s
vivid vignettes of
martians made from marzipan
so now i’m a’licking
the smudgy bathroom mirror

my pet gerbil burst
into a flaming ball of
smokeless plasma
on the feast day of saint elmo
then chartist upstarts
torched me citroën saxo
& my robot boss replaced me
with a sack of winter barley

& my true love legged it
for a tuesday afternoon
in ashby-de-la-zouch
& a signed seven inch
of never gonna give you up
by rick ruddy astley
so now i’m a’combing
my hairy palms alone

( yeah )

…