( ? )

enter december –

…


enter december –
unseasonably warm
between each polar vortex

enter december –
feasting on baked beans
& sausages for teatime

enter december –
may contain nuts
& hazardous packaging

enter december –
frosty cobwebs
on the footpath home

enter december –
crows caw in the dawn
your new ringtone

enter december –
smelling of z – list
celebrity fragrances

enter december –
having swam eleven lengths
& eaten their weetabix

enter december –
a photo of a solitary
swan on a calendar

enter december –
the undefeated sun
a greener in between

enter december –
& exit november
a ghostly bonfire

enter december –
sweaters & vests
& thermal underpants

…

instead of a poem

…

a cold rice pudding
fresh out the can
stodgy yet lost

& an icicle which since
melted in my hand
from last night’s frost

a sellotape roll
without a found end
so good luck with that then

an unwritten book
with white space within &
no isbn

the latest normie goss
about yours truly
none of which is true

five pence in change
two twos & a one
no receipt – now shoo

…

promo numpty

…

your advert goes here
the one about the holiday
in smug sunshine
or the latest wearable
that we’ll never wear – because
that’s n.p.c ‘reepy
or your miraculous pile cream
or chocolate flamethrower
whatever you wish
( dear mister e.washy )
to flog us all with next

…

god of odd

…

let there be ball lightning
phantasmic plasma

with a psyche of its own
– perhaps a cosmic fart?

or toads inside stones
croaking not croaked it

a showering of frogs
a light drizzle of newts

a cryptid in each
lake or quite large puddle

a double decker bus found
within a martian crater

a poundland discovered
underneath a megalith

from neolithic though
& so you scramble eggheads

dodos re-emerging in
sleepless suburbia

the puzzling is this
blizzards in mid-july

& still no solid reason why
so keep ’em all guessing

…

ooh err missives

…

the occasional tables
were mostly chairs that day

the sun dried tomatoes
were eaten overnight

the winter wren sang
of a southern hemisphere

the peanut butter warned us
‘may contain nuts’

mister holmes was constipated
all the green bananas

breathed with their gills
& feathered quills flew

with the dusters in a circle
over puzzled heads

when the scarecrows frightened
themselves in the mirror

…

( of a formless morning )

…

backwards barks again
a backdoor key

cartoon rudiments
cloven hoofed clover

a zoomorphic moon
with rain in between

an ache in my right leg
a lake in your left eye

the day became frogs
human cattle banging pots

remember the moos
& the chalkboards thank yous

& irk the normalz off
of a formless morning

on is reverse
we the scattered ash

& quercus quilled ink
still the unbecome

melted into fundaments
rearranged yesterday

grew a green tomorrow
ate baked magic

beans on toast for tea
with grated cheese on top

…