Poetry

four voles

~

four voles ( selov ruof )

…

~

four voles ( selov rouf )

…

 

one swan sings a song

two shrews sniffing glue

three fleas leap a tree

four voles – on a stroll

…

 

 

( author notes )

& apparently

according to

the stats

the most popular

name

for a hamster

last year

was barry

with 97.8 %

of all males

& 87.3 %

of all females

named barry

throughout the world

& on the moon

too

which must have been

a fantasy

back in the nineties

but we’re the modernest

( relatively speaking )

yet

so there

p.s

i made that

hamster fact up

but hopefully you

already knew that

& this is what passes

as a joke

’round my way

– cheers

…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ffo gnidnuos

~

ffo gnidnuos  ( sounding off )

…

 

never eat shredded wheat

the midlands is a buffer-zone

only troll the b.b.c

& n.p.c’s on twatter

karens, cunts & cannibals

weasels of this human zoo

monkey-skunks with tongues of dung

bitching shit in village pubs

alcohol is muppet juice

wear a pair of rubber boots

leather is the skin of death

meat is callous carnage

kiss the twists of river mist

adders lie in pasture’s grass

i am not y’ fucking gimp

stick y’ mask up y’ ass

gold is old but silver’s birch

words are birds & butterflies

ash is flash & oak’s a cloak

from sping – until the autumn

war’s a scam & all’s a stage

convid is a ponzi scheme

jesus is an octopus

earth’s an egg & mars is green

venus shines beyond the night

try to write by candlelight

with a quill or fountain pen

faces hide in clouds

sing a hymn in libraries

poetry’s a diary

prosody’s a lottery

the internet is not your friend

…

 

 

 

 

(  author fuckin’ notes )

 

does anyone else remember nostalgic recollections?

i love looking back – to the days when i used to look back

( it’s twice as warm then – with doubly lovely blinkers on )

…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

piss another proem

~

piss another proem  (  meorp rehtona ssip  )

…

 

 

once upon a yarn

underneath the moon

as the badgers barked

with the village loon

 

so the annals wrote

in amongst the dross

when the spectres float

& the bishops toss

 

turning circled sleep

over once again

in the middle’s mist

mizzle is the rain

 

mares within the air

retribution’s now

butchers dreamt a death

eaten by a cow

 

bakers burnt the cakes

poets kissed the stars

venus sings – begin

jupiter & mars

 

hark, the howl of owls

& the scribbles pen

once upon a yarn

something happened then

…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

an open letter to a local ghost

~

an open letter to a local ghost  (  tsohg lacol a ot rettel neop na  )

…

 

dearest headless horseman

stalker of the moors

haunter of the heather paths

phantom of the peat bogs

 

frightener of hikers

clergymen & cub scouts

‘tween the night & twilight

on a shadow donkey

 

fearful spin thy dark yarns

first the stench of sulphur

mint & pickled onions

then a howling wind growls

 

as your form emerges

flee or else be feasted

eater of the lost souls

‘mid the mist & frost

 

all your socks are washed

& your underpants – too

so come home soon

dinner’s in the oven

love phyllis

x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…

flimflamdemia fatigue

~

flimflamdemia fatigue  (  eugitaf aimedmalfmilf  )

…

 

asses ‘n’ gasses ‘n’ muzzle the masses

sing in a spin of the onions in pickles

eagles in trusses & sheeple on busses

larks in the garden – a shit in the thistles

weasels deceiving as beetles are heaving

dung in a dungeon, the rubber of riddles

puppets in pockets & lizards in lockets

muppets are lapping the pap of the piffles

piss in the papers – the barrels, the scrapers

lions not liars – the pricks in the middles

tossers are turning, the blither is burning

earth in a flap with a touch of the sniffles

( oh no )

…

 

 

 

( author notes )

” worse things happen at sea, you know “

( eric idle )

…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

penance poem

~

penance poem  ( meop ecnanep  )

…

 

i shall paint the humber bridge

with a toothbrush & a prayer

 

yeah, i’ll count the shifting clouds

of a breezy afternoon

 

i shall sweep the forest floor

& the oceans undertow

 

with a hop but not a skip

& feed the planet’s gannets

 

i will raise the dodo so

from the dozy realms of death

 

& then deck the rubber walls

in them halls of amenti

 

as i sing the hymn of sisyphus

& tantalus’s tongue

 

’til the forty fourth of august

underneath the blue moonbeams

…

 

 

 

 

( author notes )

in my defence
this poem was written
with a pen & a pad
& without a bloody mask on
– so there
…

cosmic codswallop

~

cosmic codswallop  (  pollawsdoc cimsoc  )

…

 

cheddar-clever crake

chasing carrot cake

 

catching crystal’s ball

caterpillars crawl

 

cotton commissar

catalytic car

 

churlish chaplains cheer

cabbage cavalier

 

cornish cousins comb

caesar’s chromosome

 

curdled custard cats

castle caveats

 

cauliflowers crowd

caterwauling cloud

 

cluttered clarity

catapulting cee

…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

this poem was raised by badgers

~

this poem was raised by badgers  (  sregdab yb desiar saw meop siht  )

…

 

this poem was raised by badgers

this poem is agnostic – but fingers crossed

this poem contains nuts & gluten

aspartame & martian d.n.a

this poem quite likes marmite

this poem is not your long lost uncle

this poem is friends with the gingers

& topples down statues on their behalf

this poem has sixteen nipples

seventeen elbows & forty four eyebrows

this poem is not a windmill

a harpy or a harpsichord

this poem is neither a witch doctor

a doctor or a witch

this poem claims to be shower proof

but would probably drown

in a cloudburst

…