~
kumquat may ( yam tauqmuk )
…
in the fourteenth century
up a walnut tree
enter seven digit code
hit the bloody road
salad is a ballad
flap another fragment
facing the brace
of a fresh west wind
down with the owls
in a hooded oaken wood
with a rusty spanner
& a jelly baby sandwich
my middle name
was never craig or gordon
i preferred your early work
when the earth was purple
…
~
internet storm warning ( gninraw morts tenretni )
…
masts on the moor
( scaring off crows )
rattle like trees
( kids play with snakes )
drumming the rain
( falling indoors )
i spy my my
( weathercock eye )
so & so strayed
( from the wrong path )
so & so said
( something or other )
then echoes flow
( pissing upstream )
redder than herrings
( brainstream spools )
as the bloody bots
( flesh & the code )
stir the phantom potty
( plastic & cracked )
for all who swim in
( run a hot bath )
read a good book
( hashtag s.o.s )
…
~
promo poem ( meop omorp )
…
grown under moonlight
made in cydonia
voted number one
by tea leaf readers
& lollipop ladies
who gave us five stars
each unique barcode
was jazz hand carved
ten percent of florists
found the secret passage
three in four badgers
never saw it coming
also available
in yellow or magenta
or dark matter
but good luck with that
six in seven shepherds
loved it like their flock
all organic
even the tentacles
typed over time
by a trillion chimps
brewed in a vat
with tramp underpants
under warranty
’til the end of the holocene
unconfused
despite the kali yuga
ten thousand barn owls
can’t be bloody wrong
eighty eight percent of goblins
said it was delicious
…
~
pen forth, penfriends ( sdneirfnep ,htrof nep )
…
rollerball buddies
tossers of the daily sprawl
sponsored by posca
black marker partners
paper white – like elephants
singing with a wrist
calligraphy cohorts
bullet tip associates
on the ballpoint boys
highlighter fishwife’s
& fountain pen mountain men
scrawling like spiders
feathered quill brethren
sisters of the squidy well
stilo amigos
we, the scribble’s kin
irkers of the qwerty keys
writing like a ghost
…
~
pardon? ( ?nodrap )
…
where are my car keys?
– quarter past seven
can you smell gas?
– sticky toffee pudding
what time’s kick off?
– the sea of tranquility
do you take sugar?
– nought point five
will it rain later?
– fire salamanders
do you know your postcode?
– long john silver
have you lost some weight?
– six clarinets
cash or card?
– probably osmosis
when’s the next bus?
– sunny side up, please
is there a god?
– try the airing cupboard
have you fed the dog?
– the royal albert hall
is this a poem?
– bicarbonate of soda
…
~
the voice of raisin ( nisiar fo eciov eht )
…
” hi, i’m a dried grape
workhorse of your christmas cake
the sun in your bun “
…
~
exit plandemic ( cimednalp tixe )
…
middle afternoons
drinking flat pop
from a plastic beaker
as the ‘rona fizzles
lo, a bridge aflame
see the normalzzz turn
even snooze readers
& children of the kool aid
but some muzzled cling
drooling for the bell
hardcore zealots
lost in their masada
walk beyond the song
of a winter swan
don’t excuse the mess
of this dress rehearsal
finches summon spring
singing waterloo
as clouds gather
on a hillock’s brow
so the future spools
fodder for the ghouls
wear a beige raincoat
& green jackboots
…
~
alternative names for the moon ( noom eht rof seman evitanretla )
…
cousin of the sun
david niven’s balloon
cheeky, cheesy chops
fodder of space-mice
old crater face
dean martin’s pizza
nephew of the death star
werewolf activator
mistress of up there
renfield amplifier
lover of the lunatics
shaper of the dreamscape
shooter of beams
master of the tides
as the midges bite
warden of the night
…
( author notes )
& i’ve heard word – from a reliable source
that the actor, comedian
& game show host – les dennis
is in fact … a straight man
( gasp )
apparently dennis used to be married
to that amanda holden – & all sorts
& she’s not a les
she’s an amanda instead
( another gasp )
so dennis has been fooling us all
since at least the fucking eighties
( it’s an absolute swizz )
…
~
my nine lives ( sevil enin ym )
…
beneath the speeding wheels
of a mobility scooter
( drag racing with a milk float )
napping in pudding lane
as the flames crept in
an eagle dropped aeschylus
on my moggy head
dozing on atlantis
as the waters rose
bitten by vampire bats
eaten by giant rats
catching the cream
that was best before
last august
stuck up a larch tree
for half a century
with my heart broken
by a two-timing persian
…
~
@ poem ( meop @ )
…
@ north pole
@ bolthole
@ twatter handle
@ random sample
@ website
@ red light
@ username
@ el alamein
@ pluto
@ the keiper belt
@ rangoon
@ the bloody moon
@ asgard
@ noah’s ark
@ m.i.a
@ ran away
@ seven seas
@ n.p.c’s
@ b&m
@ b&q
@ wit’s end
@ xanadu
@ up in the air
– but where the fuck are you
( ? )
…
resarf poetry 