an open letter to a martian penfriend

dear green keith

the mayor of mid-cydonia

where the air is ares

on the ruddy red planet

i hope you fixed that leak

in your pyramid loft

& christmas went okay

( it’s just as shit on earth )

the weather here is wet

which suits the duck in me

– is it sunny there

in your neck of the solar-wood?

how’s your ten-headed

foxhound called portia?

do you still garden?

are you on social media?

or should we dredge the canals?

have you moved to the moon?

it’s been six million years

so please reply quite soon


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