( ? )

the continuing adventures of betty swollocks

~

the continuing adventures of betty swollocks ( skcollows ytteb fo serutnevda gniunitnoc eht )

…

now’s the toast of roasting nuts
trousers whiffing more than guts

walking on a browning lea
formerly a shade of pea

dreaming of the gift of rain
bursting on a thirsting plain

droplets dripping from the bonce
sweating like an effing nonce

hunter group on telegram
knot a clue – the heavens slam

when the blue’s a hue of hell
wickets still – a stinking bell

wash again yet still she calls
singing songs of sodden balls

under heaving heaps of sky
she beneath is back in i

…

r i v e r s

~

r i v e r s ( s r e v i r )

…

r ow y’ boat upon

      raspberries ‘n’ onward thee

      ripple as y’ go

i n between daydreams

      is the realm of kingfishers

      idle like the flow

v oyage on the clear

      view the future through the cracks

      visions reappear

e nvoy of the dry

      earth’s submerged emissary

      egrets dwelleth here

r eeds beneath the glass

      roaches, pikes ‘n’ sticklebacks

      rubber duckies quack

s eeking seabound sounds

      sing below the grassy banks

      so she singeth back

…

dog this

~

dog this ( siht god )

…

dogwood tree
beg for a biscuit

doggerel verse smith
pee up a lamp post

dog eared scribbles
– go to your bed

doghouse builder
growling at the postman

dogfish mongers
chasing squirrels in the park

dog days of summer
come here & sit

salty sea dog
jump for your ball

dog star rising
fetch me my slippers

…

bravo …

~

bravo … ( … ovarb )

…

& the last poet
on that night
had nits

as the bright lights flickered
& the microphone cracked

& the last poet
on that night
had nits

when the full moon bloomed
then a dead duck quacked

& the last poet
on that night
had nits

ruffles on their scalp
where the parasites attacked

& the last poet
on that night
had nits

scratching along
with the head lice act

…

how to cure constipation

~

how to cure constipation ( noitapitsnoc eruc ot woh )

…

drink a glass of water

ride on a log flume

under blooming moons

eat a tin of prunes

or snooker balls

especially the greens

nestle on your throne

singing god save the queen

pogo in loose clothing

over sleeping policeman

play peekaboo

with yourself – in the mirror

spot the horse manure

& see bluebottles dine

or just write a poem

& dump the deed online

…

( author notes )

for those that don’t know
a sleeping policeman
is actually a speed bump
& not a copper
having a nap on the road
– it’s just a silly name

p.s

constipation is an anagram

of titanic spoon

…

if you don’t write …

~

if you don’t write … ( … etirw t’nod uoy fi )

…

the birds will go on strike
& picket line the springtide

dawn will lose her chorus
( subtitles unavailable )

as the normalzzz soar
in a bland of opportunity

you, a one of we
the weird beyond the blear

will smoulder as the smoke
on the sixth of november

disappear like keys
or a conjuror’s rabbit

up the back passage
of aimless anus lane

feasting on the bugs
in a philanthropist’s bluetopia

the pens will run dry
like a cursed herd

the spoken word commando’s
of tiktok will rise

like the ghost of mordred
from the lurking shadows

so the sun will shine shades
of shite – not gravy

…

the truth about train conductors

~

the truth about train conductors ( srotcudnoc niart tuoba hturt eht )

…

they’re always born
on a wednesday teatime

delayed because the trees
went on strike

so there were no leaves
to use as an excuse

on the lines between the stations
& other destinations

as gremlins nicked the sleepers
senior management ate quail

& another swan dies
on the duck pond of despondency

…

poetry’s a spanner

~

poetry’s a spanner ( rennaps a s’yrteop )

…

sing a song of sinking sand
inking with a hidden hand
dwindle in a mirror land
spot y’ doppelgänger

pissing on the garden lawn
of a twisted misted morn
as the farting farmers yawn
gargle martian grammar

see beyond the jibber’s swan
jabbering the bland of yon
grab the dunce’s hat ‘n’ don
stuttering a stammer

runcible’s the silver spoon
nincompoop the afternoon
we, the piffle’s children loon
waving not a banner

picking pickled prosody
paper plane this odyssey
every sock’s an oddity
when the ham’s a hammer

am’ the dram’ of river flows
quiver then the feather blows
scribble on with broken toes
poetry’s a spanner

…