rush owls

~

rush owls ( slwo hsur )

…

tawny owls racing
with the morning hare

quicker than lightning
striking the air

barn owls in fast cars
stuck in solid jam

screeching at the lights
& the broken down tram

eagle owls at taxi ranks
jumping the queue

barging passed the frogmouths
& the nightjars too

little owls in pickles
late for the train

snowy owls sleeting
dashing in the rain

…

cough up

~

cough up ( pu hguoc )

…

the fiver you borrowed
in crocodile times

last supper’s bay leave’s
& fish finger bones

the smoke that we choke
when london burns again

sputters of dust
in the attics of our minds

a persian furball
the wager that waned

twenty two guineas
& a shilling in change

the chewing gum you found
on the sole of your shoe

a thousand pound fine
for kissing a gnu

remnants of the ‘rona
scamdemic afterglows

for hardcore zealots
& big pharma jihadists

a tip for the waiter
instead of see y’ later

& a greeny green frog
croaking of tomorrows

…

poets of purple twilight

~

poets of purple twilight ( thgiliwt elprup fo tseop )

…

slither, garden snake
alexandrite underling
as the stars awake

glisten with y’ ears
regal squealers ink of she
her seventy years

patching piffle’s shat
plodding paths of this ‘n’ that
in a wanker hat

pen of heather skies
clumps of fluffy amethyst
another sun dies

knot the dim of day
nature is the monarch of
geminis in may

greet the even’ breeze
scribble piffle lullabies
on lavender leas

…

poetry sale now on

~

poetry sale now on ( no won elas yrteop )

…

buy one haiku

get two free

      whether they’re wanted

      or not

sonnets come

with a fifteenth line

      & it’s gratis

      thank us later

pay with pens

or magic beans

      now accepting

      metaphors

if they’re not too

worn or ropy

      & they don’t smell

      pickled onion

bargain bins

are brimming sweetly

      dulciter

      so say the romans

scan the shelves

of ditty discounts

      vilanelles

      & senyru too

fifty percent

extra on limericks

      so seven & a half

      lines for five

odes are going

for a swansong

      everything that flows

      must glow

…

this poem is not

~

this poem is not ( ton si meop siht )

…

this poem is not
a chartist or a carlist
or an anteater
called tony

this poem is not
a goblin in a dress
or your long haired lover
from skegness

this poem is not
the severn bore’s tusks
or a scotch egg
bought from scotch corner

this poem is not
the code of a bot
seven – pee – three – four
eighty eight & apricot

this poem is not
scentless like hibiscus
or a werewolf under
brighter blue moons

this poem is not
your prodigal uncle
or your nan’s only fan
on only fans

this poem was written
in between sips
of toffee – which is coffee
crossed with tea

this poem is not
the missing link
available in beige
or the kitchen sink

– no chance

…

this is not a war song

~

this is not a war song ( gnos raw a ton si siht )

…

once upon a now
as a bullish fresian cow
pats upon the leas

like the gosling shite
of the proper gander walrus
they of frozen seas

them of muzzle up
back in season seventy
thousand three threes

treble eleven
with its potholes in plotlines
splitting like the peas

we are not a bot
tangled in the bramble’s arms
stiller than a frieze

children of the egg
fooling on beyond the song
of a swan with fleas

see the garden glint
glimmer in a mirror’s eyes
normalzzz snoring zees

blue is just the sky
yellow – just a buzzing hue
( feasting bumblebees )

blow the latest thing
like a pollen sneezing breeze
eat my bellend cheese

…

armchair critics

~

armchair critics ( scitirc riahcmra )

…

her cabriole legs

are different lengths

      she wobbles like

      an old school desk

the welt is worn

the stitching torn

      the springs have sprung

      like a fat man’s mattress

the cushions don’t match

in fact – they clash

      she smells of cat

      & geriatric admirals

her stretcher x

has snapped in two

      so vees instead

      her apron’s stained

her manchette arms

are squeaking beasts

      if sat upon

      she creaks a shriek

so all in all

a trendless setter

      i’m no carpenter

      but i could do better

…