how to kill your imaginary friends ( & get away with it scot-free )


how to kill your imaginary friends ( & get away with it scot-free ) ( (eerf-tocs to htiw yawa teg & ) sdneirf yranigami ruoy llik ot woh )

shoot the buggers down
with a gun-shaped hand

with invisible bullets
( sound effects optional )

whack ’em with a spade
from the shed – in y’ head

or a faux-snow shovel
blow upon blow

shrink ’em to the size
of a silverfish or fly

or imaginary ant
& stamp, stamp, stamp

startle them with boos
shock ’em ’til they drop

tickle both their elbows
with an ostrich feather

break their phantom hearts
tell ’em that it’s over

you’ve new fake friends now
& some of them are poets

bury them deep
in a ten foot hole

in the hungry woods at night time
& tell not a soul

( author notes )

& if you have a few spare years to fill

look into the origins of scot-free

there’s quite a few different theories out there

& they’re all adamant they’re right

but until susie dent puts her foot down

no one can say for certain

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