things i’ll never do


things i’ll never do ( od reven ll’i sgniht )

go potholing

write a modern sonnet

swim in raw sewage

especially front crawl

talk to a ginger

eat my own toes

grow a second nose

on my left elbow

see a poltergeist

catch a meteor

like baby sweetcorn

even in a stir fry

call the cops & grass

dance on shattered glass

get the daemon pricks

or the booster shit

sky dive from a plane

with a beach umbrella

in lieu of parachute

shoot an albatross

or a unicorn

picnic in the rain

vote in an election

or your mother – again

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