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local headlines ( sneildaeh lacol )
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rabid postman bites dog vicar licks bishop's chin otter robs riverbank local poet pisses on pothole swallows florist whole secretary embezzled pens council declares war on owls ( or mayor declares war on walruses ) morris dancer marries earwig rain all day but dry at night sport teams draw a game with balls windmill disappears in gale un-exploded bomb explodes ...