( ? )

what the critics said

~

what the critics said ( dais scitirc eht tahw )

…

“the unicorn bristles
gently caress the heels”
( rennie rectangle, shoe buff buff monthly )

“tied too tightly
to ever be undone”
( zues ammon junior, the gordian )

“the phoenix feathers
sang me to sleep”
( eve smegingley, things that rhyme with willow )

“i laughed so hard
my harvest failed”
( archibald arsewipe, the sunday hexpress )

“one, zero, one, one
zero, one, zero, zero”
( gordon borgton, the annual bot review )

“rusty in places
but absolutely arrow-proof”
( mussafah goodwinson, the daily chain mail )

…

hikes ‘n’ yikes

~

hikes ‘n’ yikes ( sekiy ‘n’ sekih )

…

the rising cost of tea
& cheapo custard creams

the soaring price of squiddy ink
& sheets of recycled tree

or “paper” ( if you must )
is bumming poetry

up the hairy backroad
where the brown bears growl

see the normans harrying
norf f.c

yoking like the romans
when they’re claudine forked

effed or rogered
this is not a jolly flag

hags in flighty nighties
bull eyed bellends

poke us with cattle prods
& invisible twigs

all the normalzzz shudder
barking utter bollards

so the bend is near
chafe the evening breezy

& pay fifty quid or else
for this scribbled “freebie”

…

b a r d

~

b a r d ( d r a b )

…

bark a rabid dirge

blacken a red door

blue a roan donkey

bloom a rosy dawn

bite a ripe damson

blow a raspberry – doughnut

build a rocky den

breathe a rousing dew

boat a river down

bob a robin’s dance

brush a rascal dog

bumble a runcible ditty

bee a rainy day

bright against rising darkness

bugger all robotic diktats

bring a rubber duckie

…

a pizza the puzzle

~

a pizza the puzzle ( elzzup eht azzip a )

…

stuffed-crust crosswords

stone baked rubic’s cube

su-doku meat feast

mind-blown hawaiians

tongues tasting twisters

foggy margarita

ponders in the parlour

calzone anagrams

crptic french bread

patterns in the scatters

of the quizmaster’s toppings

four seasons’s jigsaw

…

etc ( etc )

~

etc ( etc ) ( tce ) tce

…

eleven tanzanian chefs

eating tarantula cobwebs

english tinkers conga

estonian tailors clap

elbows turning clockwise

evening’s tide crawls

echoing toad croaks

every thursday comes

exorcising the curate

egging tomorrow’s codswallop

ending to continue

…