veg out

~

veg out ( tuo gev )

goodbye broccoli

goodnight carrots

laters potatoes

adieu sweetcorn

spinach – in a bit

( y’ tit )

& so to bed, beans

hasta la vista – leeks

see you anon, swede

nice one turnips

peace out – peas

au revoir parsnips

fuck off sprouts

humphh

~

humphh ( hhpmuh )

righting a song

in the wronging of along

hymns in the head

with y’ leaden legs of dread

trot like a fox

or a monkey with the pox

paws at the lights

as the even’ breeze – she bites

stop ’til it’s green

& the now’s a bouncing bean

gurn at the bend

with a poem what y’ penned

burning a page

in the book of endless beige

down in the frown

of a pickled onion town

then with a pen

& a rubber duck or hen

squawk in a line

or the local swine will fine

wait in the queue

but the queue won’t wait for you

dressed for the rain

but the rain – he never came

goss dross toss

~

goss dross toss ( ssot ssord ssog )

have you heard the latest?
the poet down the road

is worshipping a hedgehog god
as per so & so

he of touching trees
muddy trouser swagger

fodder of the bots
phantom of the hunters

the spanner in a raincoat
the scaper”s goat – g.o.a.t

is picking rowan berries – there
& talking to a toadstool

where the air is sylphid
& singing songs within

instead of talking to
the likes of i & you

we, the weaseled tropes
with ghosts in our software

the hosepipe gestapo

~

the hosepipe gestapo ( opatseg epipesoh eht )

ten fucking years here
in this prison /

re-eductation camp
for watering geraniums

in the death of day
with a stocking on me noggin

as the black bats flapped
& the full moon waned

curtain twitchers stirred
aroused by sprinkled sounds

probably retired
bloody covid wardens

them with nought within
& decking on their back lawn

where grass gleamed
faded since like england’s

coddled hills & farmland
so come dawn

a banged down door
& the hosepipe gestapo

whacked us in the van
sentenced without trial

silly bollocks really
so we have to smile