~
still overrated ( detarrevo llits )
…
life as a normalzzz
four-four music
processed pop pap
the plods of a bot
shiny sweatshop shoes
sliced white bread
( bring back bread knives )
black suits at funerals
the kung-flu jib-jab
staying in your lane
net zero none sense
protein shakes
the latest thing’s hot cakes
christmas ( not yule )
magnums & cornettos
cucumber sandwiches
all those fucking poems
especially those sonnets
with cobwebs in their bonnets
the bloody london eye
& binley mega chippy
…
~
umbrella standpoint ( tniopdnats allerbmu )
…
possibly a thirty three
see the grey wagtails
later on – i’ll eat my pie
like the great wall of china
hence the green backdoor
six pence in change
she’s had the painters in
oliver cromwell’s uncle
it makes the womb look bigger
the forty fourth of february
pleuronectes platessa
monster trucks on the moon
…
( author notes )
britain isn’t in morning
because it’s gone midday
…
~
( autumn isn’t spring ) ( gnirps t’nsi nmutua )
…
cuckoos sleep in their clocks
& in their cloudy land
the daffodils are noted
only by their absence
as the air is crisping
like a baked potato skin
– hark, a parsnip parps
‘pon a brassy breeze
blast the phantom gas
moss is green – not grass
babylon is fucked again
up the arse ‘n’ all sorts
atlantis gargles
arthur snores on avalon
– doors, doors, doors
& all with creaky hinges
the days are getting dimmer
like a dyslexic meal
toadstools croak
& spawn – not toads
nights are creeping in – not out
with no hokey pokey
to shake it all about
– only foggy ghosts
…
~
bookworm ( mrowkoob )
…
squirm between covers
eating paragraphs – pages
( three chapters a day )
…
~
cryptic crossword love ( evol drowssorc citpyrc )
…
oh, my osmosis
in a satellite town
– perhaps a pickled plum?
i long for the touch
of your chartered accountant
gargling milk
in a rabbit hutch
& i daydream of kissing
your sweet peruvian
bothering owls
in a haunted sauna
like an anagram
of sixteen down
without the evening gown
but fate is a gibbon
eating orange omelettes
inside a giant blue shoe
& the day’s a sailor
skipping on the pier
with a priestly earwig
– not you
…
~
alternative names for autumn ( nmutua rof seman evitanretla )
…
harvest fest’ after party
conker season thing
michaelmas terminus
summer’s sequel
the goosebump months
winter’s prequel
goose bugger off time
mizzletide stuff
the chestnut episode
dawn of the parsnip
fungal slumber
old shuck’s stomping ground
wellingtons & cobwebs
the maypole’s downfall
the fog days of shudder
green leaves a’ leaving
ghosts a go-go
…
~
oooooh là là
…
do they eat their chips
with frog’s legs
– not fish?
do they wear a beret?
& bicycle
in stripy jumpers?
are their boulangeries
on their high street?
perhaps a chemise
– tabac or piscine?
are their homes
lit by chandeliers?
do they refer
to their anus
as a tooosh
not in the doldrums
of derbyshire
but over the border
in ashby-de-la-zouch
( ? )
…
~
veg out ( tuo gev )
…
goodbye broccoli
goodnight carrots
laters potatoes
adieu sweetcorn
spinach – in a bit
( y’ tit )
& so to bed, beans
hasta la vista – leeks
see you anon, swede
nice one turnips
peace out – peas
au revoir parsnips
fuck off sprouts
…
~
humphh ( hhpmuh )
…
righting a song
in the wronging of along
hymns in the head
with y’ leaden legs of dread
trot like a fox
or a monkey with the pox
paws at the lights
as the even’ breeze – she bites
stop ’til it’s green
& the now’s a bouncing bean
gurn at the bend
with a poem what y’ penned
burning a page
in the book of endless beige
down in the frown
of a pickled onion town
then with a pen
& a rubber duck or hen
squawk in a line
or the local swine will fine
wait in the queue
but the queue won’t wait for you
dressed for the rain
but the rain – he never came
…
resarf poetry 